Anyone ever been in this situation?

A place to discuss the many medical issues that may come up during the course of a CPS case.

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Anyone ever been in this situation?

Postby angel158 » Sat Jun 29, 2013 11:04 am


Back in September of last year, we lost a baby to Turner Syndrome. It was a traumatic time for me and my family and everyone wanted us to terminate, but I refused. The baby died at 19 weeks gestational age. When I tell you, we had no family support during this time, I mean that. I had to deliver my baby with my 18 month old in the room because no one would help us. I also needed my husband in the room with me as support. Since that point, I am pretty sure I have PTSD. I got pregnant again and I am currently 24 weeks pregnant. My daughter started have tantrums really bad at night right after Gracie died and I took her to the doctors for this to be addressed. I did what the doctor asked me to do. She asked me to give my daughter a picture of the baby's ultrasound that I am currently pregnant with. She also said spend time with my daughter before she goes to bed. I did that. My daughter continued to scream and so bad, she was making herself sick at night. I noticed my neighbor looking out the window one night when I was closing my windows because my daughter was screaming so loud. So since that point, I have put my daughter in bed with us and when she goes to sleep, she will go in her bed. I am not keen on my neighbors to begin with, they have children and they let them have BB guns, I once saw there son pointing at my house. We dont get along because they kill the roosters in my neighborhood and I dont like that, its animal abuse to me, plus we live very close in a residential community someone could get hurt. I noticed my daughter's tantrums were getting out of hand more and more lately. So I made her another doctors appointment. When we got there, I told the nurse, we were there for my daughter tantrums and I am afraid of my neighbors, so I wanted it medically documented we were here. My daughters doctor walks in, and we discussed my daughters tantrums again. I then advised that I felt like a ton of her acting out was because of the baby that died, thats when everything started. Whenever I speak about my baby that died, I still cry and so I did start to cry at that point because it is traumatic. My daughter had to go to the potty at that point and and the doctor says go ahead and take her to the bathroom. I did....When I get back in the room, the doctor goes, I already have the girls making you an appointment, I want family counseling ASAP. So I got on the phone with the mental health center. I dont like not being able to choose someone. So, I asked if I would be allowed to switch if I wanted to, to the mental health center, I had to ask 3 times before they finally gave me an answer of yes. I get off the phone at the doctors office and the doctor says, I want your daughter in daycare right away. I stay home. We cannot afford daycare and it defeats the purpose of me being home. I also had stepped on my daughters foot, so I showed the doctor her foot, she had a tiny bruise, at first the doctor was like, oh she has a bruise, let me see the bruise. SO when I showed her, she says, that kind of bruise is ok. Then I also showed the doctor another issue, because my husband pointed it out to me, on her other foot, she had a bug bite (we go to the pool and there is grass we walk on so I suppose something got her) The doctor then says that is a mild bug bite. When we left, everything hit me. I felt like we were being scanned for child abuse. So I called the mental health center, I wanted to know what the session was going to include. Then I asked if they saw 2 year olds, because I called my friend and she said most places wont see a 2 year old. They said no, and then canceled her appointment. I then called the doctor back and advised her of this. The doctor says, this is crazy, I am gonna call them and see what happened. Almost like she didnt believe us. I also told the doctor, I am enrolling my child in a church preschool it wont start till the fall. When I said this, she goes, you cant get her in sooner? I then said, no and this is what we can afford. What I really wanted to say was you pay for it. I dont want my child in daycare. Developmentally she is better off in preschool. So I told my husband that night the conversation. He is mad. He calls the doctor the next day and asked the doctor point blank, why are you making us rush into daycare? The doctor lied. She goes, Im not. Its to keep your wife calm and give her a break. So then my husband brought up again about the appointment being canceled the doctor then says, she needs to research that. She then says do you want us to make another appointment somewhere else or do you want to make the appointment? My husband goes, I will make the appointment. The doctor huffed and got mad basically and hung up after that because we wanted to make the appointment. There place where they made the appointment canceled. Plus I like choosing. And I dont like them knowing who I will see because I dont want them having access to my records in family counseling. If I bring up any issues in my family, for example, relationship issues with my husband, that is none of my daughters doctors business and to me they could get this info if they make the appointment and know where we are going. I wanna switch doctors. I dont like the way my daughters doctor handled this situation. What are my rights? I am afraid if I switch now they will call CPS on me. I am not comfortable there anymore. We have only been there for a year.....

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Re: Anyone ever been in this situation?

Postby monkette31 » Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:01 pm

First, you should know that you have the right to a second opinion and I'm pretty sure you can change doctors. To me, it sounds like the doctor thinks you need a break, maybe suffering from depression from losing the baby and she has concerns. If you were the doctor, what is it that you have wanted her to say and do exactly?

If you have cps concerns, start here: ... ating-you/

so you know how to handle the situation if cps shows up. Also, I'm not a doctor but doctors are mandated reporters and if she suspects abuse, she has to by law call cps. I have not heard of any 18 month old child being affected by the death of a sibling, while the sibling was still inside mom. It is more likely that the doctor may think the child is being affected by how you have handled the grief.

What I'm saying is that I doubt any doctor will make a diagnosis on a 2 year old child that says the child needs therapy because of the death of sibling in utero. The doctor seemed like she was trying to help and I do understand your apprehension with cps completely.

If you think there is something wrong with your child, you were right to take her to the doctor. If you told the same story to many doctors, I bet at least 90% of them would have handled it the same way, try and get you help, more eyes on the baby. Here's what a doctor probably would never write.

"24 mos old child experiencing possible night trauma/situational depression due to the loss of a 19 month old in utero sibling"

It's just not going to happen and I think that might have been something you were looking for, and it raised concerns for the doctor. I think you should find some post partum depression help or counseling, grief counseling or a counselor/therapist in general...for you....and soon...

Do not think I am judging you whatsoever. I am not.
I'm not a lawyer but will try and help you any way i can. My postings may seem harsh but they all stem from personal experience with DCFS. I am not a victim and take responsibility for my part in my life, but I will always help ANYONE learn about the corrupt sick system.

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