I'm almost afraid to take the baby to the doctor

A place to discuss the many medical issues that may come up during the course of a CPS case.

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Trisha G
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I'm almost afraid to take the baby to the doctor

Postby Trisha G » Thu Oct 16, 2008 10:35 pm

After everything we've been through before he was born and their last visit, I hate taking our LO in to the dr. He's always been small, at almost 9 mos. he's only 16 lbs. He's been sick twice with ear infections, other than that he's very healthy and active. I know our ped. and I trust her, but honestly I'm half afraid with him being so small that they'll come knocking for failure to thrive. Isn't life hell once you've been through the system and it makes you scared to get help for your kids?

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Postby LindaJM » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:05 pm

It sounds like a situation where you'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't... they can say you're neglectful if you don't take a sick child to see a doctor. I'm glad you have a pediatrician who is working with you and not against you.

It has been a long time since I've had a baby. Is sixteen pounds all that small? Are you small?

A few years back in the SF Bay Area there was a case where the mother was prosecuted for failure to thrive... and when I saw her it was obvious why the baby was small... both she and her husband were about five feet tall!
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Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.

"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...

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Postby Momoffor » Fri Oct 17, 2008 6:05 pm

My older 3 were beefalo kids, and my youngest son was preemie so already small, and got RSV @ 6 weeks old and spent 2 weeks in the hospital in a o2 tent. He went home with a nebulizer that he had to use daily until he was 1, and had perm lung dmg from the rsv. He was sooooooooo tiny and didnt seem to want to grow. (Our family doctor told me that RSV lays dormant and it was possible his growth was stunted while his little body was trying to fend off and keep the rsv dormant.

When he was 3, he finally shot up like a weed out of nowhere. Until then he was always in the 10th percentile for his age.

Being military and moving so much, I was always afraid that when we transferred and saw a new doctor, they wouldnt listen or understand and think there was something else wrong. (his birth and RSV happened in a civilian hospital so the military hospital, where his record is kept only had my word to go by). Thankfully, we never had any issues and all the doctors with it.

My auctistic son is another story. Everytime we go to the doctor its an ordeal. At least now, he will let me know before we go if he is going to let them touch him and look at him, and he if he is going to talk to them or not. Its taken years, but we have a routine now where I tell the doctors they cant touch him at all, or they have to tell him what they are doing first and he will let me know its ok or not. Sometimes he refuses to communicate with them all together and they have to 'talk to me (even though he hears all of it, he doesnt want them to talk directly to him) and he will let me know from there.

I cant tell you how many times I have had doctors that walk right into the room and go straight to touch him and I have to stop them in their tracks with a "you cant touch him ..hang on!". Many get defensive and start demanding why not before they give me a chance to explain. Some make us come back another time because they are too busy for that. SOme let him do his thing while they do some paperwork until he is ready to be seen. Before we started this, I would get the most horrible distrusting looks from doctors and nurses when he would slide off the table or chair onto the floor and go into the fetal psotion whenever they tried to touch him. Or when he would constantly pull away from them when they would go to touch him.

At least my son and I have found a compromise to the whole situation. Which is all what autism is about. Compromise. (he also refuses to have anything to do with doctors if they wont compromise..Like on who said he had wear a gown for his school phys. but son refused to take off shoes socks and pants, so we had a compromise and I got him to wear shorts. Doctor said it was impossible unless he had a gown. They got us another dr in the office and it wasnt an issue, the new one did it with the shorts).

I would say its best to stick with the doctor that knows you, your son, your family, and the history so there isnt a 'stranger' that wants to play savior over something they dont know or understand. (as much as possible of course).

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Postby Trisha G » Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:46 pm

Linda, we're not small people. Since all we went through with cps we have lost weight though. Now we're right about where we should be. Our oldest was small too until she hit puberty. I post on a birth board, for the support and friendship of other moms, since I don't socialise in this town very much. He is one of the smallest babies there, but he weighed just over 6lbs. at birth. I guess 10lbs. in 9 months isn't a bad weight gain. That's sad that they went after that mom for failure to thrive. I've seen one honest case of it in my lifetime. It wasn't due to neglect either, the family had a very hard time finding a formula the baby could drink. The mom tried breastfeeding, but the baby was highly allergic to so many foods that they had to formula feed. She is a happy, healthy, young lady now.
Momoffor, it's good to know the drs. listened to you and understood. It's also good to know that you and your autistic son have a system worked out now. Too bad some of the drs. don't try to understand what's going on with him at the time they're seeing him.


Postby MaggieC » Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:50 am

If the baby needs to go to the doctor, take him to your doctor. The one you trust. Keep a record of every visit. Good documentation and a doctor who stands by you is a good defense aginst CPS.

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Postby kelz03103 » Sat Oct 18, 2008 7:54 pm

you can usually tell , if a doctor uses the phrase i have concerns a lot, i have been turned in by doctors , and i knew it was coming , one of my children has odd medical issues, one of these being weight, she was about 16 pounds at 9 months , tiny, and no fat at all, she is 7 now and no fat at all, I mean 0, now in the beginning it was my fault according to doctors that cant be bothered with a mystery. they tried to get me for signifigant starvation, cus she lost a pound, which was the doctors fault , he told me to take her off her formula , next visit , weight loss, easy fix , put her back on, however , he put in his report that he felt it was not a medical issue , perhaps a bad parenting issue, this is wut they say when they can't figure something out. it happened a few times, so i went to specialists, boston childrens hospital , I'm near there. then I changed doctors several times , and cps does not like that. too bad. I agree find someone you like , and that pays attention and offers actual answers, and get a copy each vist , even if its just notes of the visit. hope this is helpful ~kelz~

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same problem

Postby jissel » Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:11 am

That's my problem, and are doctor has turned against us. my wife is 4 feet 10 inches tall, are baby girl was born 5 pounds. Shes had 3 ear infections but other wise healthly, but she's not devloping very well. she's over a year 18 pounds, she doesn't walk, she doesn't crawl, and can sit up on her own but doesn't do it very well, and are old Ped left, she was wonderful, we got a new one and not long after that CPS is knocking on are door because are daughter isn't devloping well enough and there calming were negleting are daughter. We've ran tons of tests, X-ray to check for platelets, CBC, she's seen an eye doctor, and is seeing a ped neuro next months, she's in PT, and there still trying to pin neglet on us. this is all recent and I have no idea what to do about it.

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an idea

Postby kelz03103 » Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:04 am

I have an idea for you , please make sure you get other peoples responses to this idea before you do it. i am at a point now in my case where I have child and family services coming to my home, at first i was all against that . Now they are a totally seperat office from cps. they do not work FOR cps , they are court ordered to "help me" in my case ,however when my case closes I could call them for help , on my own, here is my idea , for years i asked my God who is on my sied a witness to things i am told , and to help me fight against false claims .Well I have IHB workers from child and family services ,they go with me to appointments , they go with me to apply for social security for my daughter , they go with me to school meetings , ect . YOU may be able to get child and family service workers to go with you to appointments , to advise you , and help you out. As far as I know they would NOT be reporting to cps ,unless they were court ordered to do so. thats my idea , get some one in another agency to be on YOUR side. k , hope this helps ~Kelz~

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Postby simplebirdsnest85 » Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:47 pm

im in this pickle right now. We dont take our daughter (or other children) to the Ped for a variety of resons and we took our 1yr old to her 1yr appt and she weighed 11lbs. CPS said someone called before her appt saying she weighed 9lbs and her ribs were showing. Well she eats plenty, even the peds agree there- she has a calorie issue- BUT CPS doesnt want to listen to that and think we dont feed her im sure. She has picked up weight and CPS are the only ones saying they are "concerned". I plan to get her medical file from the week she was in the Hospital for all this and reading over it. She gets weekly weight checks and next time im getting a darn note clearly stating we feed her and its a calorie issue- if the new Ped wont, im switching to another Ped.
Ive found "they" are like roaches. It doesnt matter what you do, they keep coming back and multiplying. -my 2c on CPS
~Now just to get my igloo ready so i can move to Alaska. They cant find you in an igloo, they dont have addresses.
Jan '09- Lost our daughter due to FTT. Went to my moms until March '09, then to my brothers until June '10..when she FINALLY came home to her parents. Oct 10-no longer court involved.....and FINALLY Nov 10- case CLOSED!
But the past cases, too many to number, keep haunting us and they keep finding us for more cases. They will never leave us alone and we will never be the same people we were before we had children.

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Postby cpslies » Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:06 pm

I saw the movie "the Matrix" when it came out. Now a line from that movie has new meaning to me. "They're all agents." Right down to the person at the dentists office cleaning your teeth and the guy at the drug store, they are ALL AGENTS! CPS will take all information, lie to you, lie in court, twist all of it to fit their story line, take it to their "kangaroo court" and use it to steal your children for money.
I know that there are children who really need help. If you and your kids are not among them and cps shows up on your doorstep, be polite, ask them to leave and call your lawyer. Just in case you did not hear that CALL YOUR LAWYER! If you can't afford one, get a second or third job, borrow from friends, family, whatever you need to do to save your children from these animals. If you do have problems, fix them. Your family is everything and your children are worth it. They are what you leave when you are gone.

If it were me and I had to face this again and could not afford to fight as I am, I'd move and leave no forwarding address. If they found me, I'd move again and again till all my kids were aged out of their evil system. The damage they did to my children, my wife and myself will take years to repair.

I am self-employed and my new life goal is to stop these animals from doing what they did to us or to anyone else like us ever again.


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Re: I'm almost afraid to take the baby to the doctor

Postby jwilson29 » Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:39 pm

Take a family member or a credible friend with you to appointment. Take a tape recorder and say I am taping this because of my past with CPS. If hey ask you what is your childs history be honest, but tell them I have my kids back I am here because I do care. You will find that a worker may still come to your door if they do stop by or come tell them you will meet them at Burger King later or next day. Take a friend with you and a tape recorder. Inform them you will be taping convo. You will find they will ask you a sries of questions you can reply I would rather not answer this has nothing to do with why you are here today. Only doctor prescribed when it comes to medications and if they say for what say only doctor prescribed nect question please. Repeat it you have to with same answer. If they ask pesonal stuff just say I dont recall or Id rather not answer that it has nothing to do with my childrens care. They base you on a point system during that interview and that is what determines removal. The less you give the better and less points. If they ask with who your friend or family is you can say they are interested in making sure my rights are protected and words are not twisted and that is why I am taping you. And leave it at that. You may gie the persons name and do not have to give personal info about them beyond that. You will probably hear that your case will be closed that they have thirty days to write a report that they will meet your kids at school to do one non parent present visit and you will never have anything come of it. You have nothing to hide stick up for your self your rights hold your head high and let them know you are done with their crap and they are not taking your kids again.

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Re: I'm almost afraid to take the baby to the doctor

Postby Beatthescammers » Sat Oct 01, 2011 7:35 pm

The rule of thumb is that babies should double their birth weight by 6 months of age and triple their birth weight by one year of age.

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Re: I'm almost afraid to take the baby to the doctor

Postby CPSptsd » Tue Oct 04, 2011 7:12 am

I am just chiming in with something that may or may not be relevant;

I am just really realizing, 19 years later, that my firstborn son's birth issues likely were related to his slow growth as a baby.

I was accused of neglect (by the docs, amazingly CPS never visited back then!), he was labeled "failure to thrive" and they pretty much forcibly weaned him to the bottle at 4 months old (he was breastfed) by mandating that I check him in to the hospital and "checking" in every hour or so to make sure I was NOT breastfeeding him. :shock: They were convinced that nursing was the problem, but had nothing to say when he still gained slowly while being formula fed. :roll:

Anyways I have since learned that his slow growth issues in the first couple of years were probably related to mild brain trauma from birth. He was born via emergency c-section, after a complete placenta abruption, and we both "should have" died. He was without oxygen and then when he was born he aspirated meconium, blood, and amniotic fluid because he inhaled before they could suction him properly.

He eventually caught up, weight wise. He is 19 now and amazing, but I DO see very mild behaviors that are most likely related to the oxygen deprivation. I didn't see them before because I was a young and inexperienced mom and had no basis for comparison and his issues were never major enough for docs to see it either, aside from the weight gain problems in his first couple of years. He was even tested for Cystic Fibrosis because of the weight gain concerns (and there is a family history)... but thankfully that test was negative.

So I am rambling, but the point here is, many other birth circumstances lead to oxygen deprivation without being nearly as life threatening and scary as our case was.... and if everything else seems normal it may not be considered as a possible problem. Just something to keep in mind. It was something I didn't understand until recently when I started researching brain injury in general.
"You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that need altering." -- The Doctor

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