Christmas was canceled

[Stitchwitch D]

We hadn't expected to see the kids on Christmas, since CPS has a new policy that does not allow foster parents to supervise visits. (They can make exceptions, like if drug-addicted pedophiles want to sign away their rights to their baby but need to spend a certain amount of time with the baby first for "informed consent" while creeping out the foster parents, but they won't make exceptions just because parents are doing everything they are supposed to do, are completely safe for the children to be around, the kids desperately want to see the parents and the foster parents are all for the visit. This is CPS- they don't need no stinkin' logic.)

Of course, none of the workers who supervise visits work on holidays- they have families to be with. Last Tuesday at a family team meeting, the SW said that one of my friends had been approved to supervise visits, she'd just need to sign a form. I called her, she said she'd sign, and that she could go in on Wednesday. Friday morning we got a call saying we needed to come in and sign the paperwork too, so I left work early and rushed around to get it done so we could see the kids on Christmas. The form was very insulting, saying it was supposed to be only us, our kids and our friend, no one else like my friend's kids and husband or my husband's family or anyone else. I assumed my friend had sat down and discussed it with them and that time and terms worked for her.

Christmas day, we talked to the foster mom a few minutes before the time the visit was supposed to happen. None of us had copies of the paperwork, and she'd gotten an email from CPS saying to beware of parents trying to "abduct" their children during the holidays, and for foster parents not to let anyone see the kids who couldn't show written authorization. The foster mom called the SW at home, and the SW seemed annoyed to have her Christmas with her family so rudely interrupted, and told the f-mom to call the cops if anyone showed up without official paperwork.

Later, I talked to the f-mom again. She said that my daughter was very upset when the visit was cancelled and stayed in a bad mood all day. Another foster child's grandma had shown up, and she had to send the lady away in tears. She'd talked to other foster families who told very similar stories.

CPS knew Christmas was coming, they did not have to wait to the absolute last minute to get paperwork signed. We think they did it on purpose. The f-mom thinks they were testing her to see if she'd obey their orders or her empathy would lead her to bend their cruel rules.

So, is this just our local CPS, or did CPS in other places play similar games for Christmas?

[thelittlethings]

Wow... It's certainly not like that here. It's up to the foster parents. When I was fostering I had the bio parents over on holidays and Birthdays. Family is so important! The department never said anything to me about it. It is *my* house after all!

[katgotsteve]

i too fostered and was told it was up to me, once i had physical care i could allow more visits or only allow them at the office, if i had family functions, i could invite the parents, i just had to be weary of who the parents were, unless the judge ordered no visits outside a cps worker, then my hands were tied.
i am sorry for what happened to you, it is sad that parents are treated like criminals when in fact they have done nothing wrong.
hang in there.

[Stitchwitch D]

Yeah, we're not allowed to see our kids with the foster parents supervising. Meanwhile, they're allowed to supervise visits with their fost-adopt baby and her parents, who don't want her but have to spend 85 hours with her before they can sign her over with informed consent. She's 4 months old and they could have gone to see her as much as they wanted in the hospital, but still all the time they've spent with her in her whole life adds up to less than 4 days. That's sad. Anyhow, so they're supposed to be going over several days a week to see her, and they have issues that pose an actual threat to their daughter's health and safety. Also, it creeps me out knowing that a sex offender is allowed to hang out in the home my little girl lives in.

Meanwhile, the foster mom likes me and we talk on the phone all the time but I can't go over there like the time that I absolutely did not stop over there while the power was out during the ice storm, or when I dropped some stuff off for the kids at the foster mom's niece's birthday party, I absolutely could not go in and watch my son catching trilobites in the pool. It is very important that foster parents follow every rule CPS comes up with, and not break rules just because they are annoying, make no sense and hurt children!

[M & B]

Thats awful. Im so sorry you couldn't see your kids for Christmas. What a rotten thing for them to do to families that are already hurting enough.