Children's birthdays while they are in care

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searcher
Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:15 pm

Children's birthdays while they are in care

Postby searcher » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:25 pm

Has anyone had to deal with a child's birthday while they are in care? How did you do it? We are still on once a week visits and the birthday is going to happen on weekend so there won't be the possibility of seeing the child on the actual day.

Birthdays around here last all day. A special breakfast, a special outing, cake, presents galore. How do you fit a while special day into one supervised hour?

Thanks.
s.
:cry:

Trisha G
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:30 pm

Postby Trisha G » Wed Sep 03, 2008 10:49 pm

Bring their favorite treats, presents, a card, anything that will make it feel as normal as possible.

glass
Posts: 92
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2005 4:46 pm

Postby glass » Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:34 am

it was heart wrenching but what we did was get a cake and disposable plates and forks etc and had a little party right there in the visiting room..we also got them a really nice present of course. can you see about getting maybe a 4 hour pass, if they have them?

Marina
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 3:06 pm

Postby Marina » Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:00 am

The young mother I have been working with is lucky.

The Agency no longer facilitates supervised visitation, so the foster parents schedule visits at public places. They have 2 foster babies the same age. These are their first foster children.

They regularly meet up at the library in the children's room and even leave Mom and child alone for the hour. Sometimes they meet up at the park for several hours.

They regularly schedule a second visit during the week of holidays, such as July 4th and Labor Day.

They had the birthday at a restaurant and told Mom she could invite anyone. The grandmother and 2 of us came. They paid for it.

They gave Mom a $100 gift certificate for Christmas and birthday, and took Mom and Grandma to the store to buy things for baby, as they did not drive. They even told Mom to buy things for herself, as a present from baby.

They email pictures and videos of baby to the Mom.

They pick Mom up for visitation if she doesn't have a ride.

They want to adopt the baby, which they probably will, under the circumstances of this particular case.

I sent Foster Mom a copy of a formal portrait of baby taken just before she entered foster care.

Also a picture of baby's 2 brothers who have already been adopted out. The Agency will facilitate visitation between the siblings at some point.

Foster Mom was thrilled with this.

Biological Mom is very fortunate.

Trisha G
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:30 pm

Postby Trisha G » Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:18 pm

Glass, my heart aches for you, nothing hurts more than not having your kids with you, especially on special days. During the time my kids were taken we had our anniversary, usally a nice family day. There wasn't even a visit scheduled so we spent it in tears missing the kids. I hope that yours come home soon and you're able to heal their wounds.
Marina, the biological mom sounds very lucky to have such caring, decent people taking care of the baby. Mom sounds like she's trying hard, it's sad that she'll likely lose the baby. Will the foster parents be open to futire visits if they do adopt?

Marina
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 3:06 pm

Postby Marina » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:08 am

Hopefully.

They live in the area.

Biological Mom is very respectful of the protective order.

But you never know.

Poor people have a tendency to beg and start to get on your nerves.

Trisha G
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:30 pm

Postby Trisha G » Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:35 pm

Poor people are also the most often attacked by CPS. We did ask my dad for help during the last invasion, but before that we always did our best to make it on our own. Now that my dad has passed away, my half sisters seem to think I have a small fortune, which is far from true, and now the ones who speak to me call all the time begging for this or that. They never seemed to have problems making it on their own before nor were they having anything to do with me between our moms death and my dads.

glass
Posts: 92
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2005 4:46 pm

Postby glass » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:42 am

Trisha G wrote:Glass, my heart aches for you, nothing hurts more than not having your kids with you, especially on special days. During the time my kids were taken we had our anniversary, usally a nice family day. There wasn't even a visit scheduled so we spent it in tears missing the kids. I hope that yours come home soon and you're able to heal their wounds.

hello,
mine have been home for almost 10 years now..i joined this site because i came under their radar in 2005, when my landlady called in on me for my kids playing outside. as soon as they found out about my past, they were gearing up to do anything they could to take my kids so we moved the entire family overnight so they couldnt find us :) :) now we live in a different town and we are ever so happy.

Trisha G
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:30 pm

Postby Trisha G » Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:37 pm

glass wrote:
Trisha G wrote:Glass, my heart aches for you, nothing hurts more than not having your kids with you, especially on special days. During the time my kids were taken we had our anniversary, usally a nice family day. There wasn't even a visit scheduled so we spent it in tears missing the kids. I hope that yours come home soon and you're able to heal their wounds.

hello,
mine have been home for almost 10 years now..i joined this site because i came under their radar in 2005, when my landlady called in on me for my kids playing outside. as soon as they found out about my past, they were gearing up to do anything they could to take my kids so we moved the entire family overnight so they couldnt find us :) :) now we live in a different town and we are ever so happy.
Whoops, that should have been searcher I quoted. We moved but stayed in the same town. They came knocking in July, but couldn't find anything. I hope it's the last we see of them.


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