Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advice.

For those concerned about children and parents in CPS cases.

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navywifea
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Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advice.

Postby navywifea » Mon Apr 20, 2015 4:10 am

Hello,
My brother and sister in law recently got into some trouble in the state of MO. My brother has been in trouble off and on for abuse charges and whatnot 'cause him and his wife would get into it a lot. She finally started putting her hands on him, and so he did the same in return. So he has those on his record all ready and now they are both dealing with a private organization that works with DFS in MO. My brother's daughter was messing with tools swinging them around while my brother was trying to fix his sons bed and I guess he was trying to show her it could hurt her or her brother and needed to leave them alone, so he tapped her with the hammer. I don't know the full story as I'm in VA but it got an investigation going when she went to school and said he did that. Her brother had a bite mark on him and my sister-in-law said that he was going through the biting stage and wouldn't stop biting his sister so mom bit him to show him how it felt. Again, I wasn't there so this is their stories. Kids were ripped away put in foster care (which happened to be friends on the family). They did this 'cause none of the family was suitable to take the kids 'cept me. (I've never even gotten a speeding ticket, very different from the rest of my family.) They told me I couldn't take the kiddos 'cause I was in a different state and they couldn't reunify the kids if they were in VA with me. The mom and dad had them placed with friends of the family instead. I much would of rather them come here, and had I known that the case worker lied and they could have reunified them if they were here makes me livid.

Now the case workers are trying to play wife against husband of course, and wife isn't talking to any of us. They are trying to give her jail time too though for failure to protect, and she doesn't realize that they are trying to get her away from all of us so no one will be left to fight for her or the kids when the time comes so they can terminate her rights. My brother has an attorney, so does my mom since they just canceled her visitation with the kids (which we both raised 'cause wife is young and needed to learn how to be a wife/mom no one taught her and father worked.) They cancled my mom without giving her a reason or paperwork, so she got an attorney to fight that.

I've been talking to a case worker here in VA who has been really down to earth and honest with me, telling me I should just drive down there and take kiddos into my care. (Wife had a baby while kids were in foster, so she had a newborn that was ripped away and put with foster family too. I'd only be able to get the two boys as the daughter went to her biological father who has no job and lives with his mom.) Wife is no longer talking to me, even though I've been trying to support her and help her, but I think MO case workers are telling her she needs to distance her self from this side of the family. My mom is worried that they are going to terminate them both of parental rights, then adopt them out to strangers or to the foster family who wants to adopt them. Case worker here told me not to worry that legally they can't do that unless they rule me out first and she said since I've never been in trouble, my house is clean and my kids are taken care of, I shouldn't have a problem with passing their tests.

I know each case is different, so no one may be going through what we are, but tips, pointers, help would be so nice. I want to drive to MO and get custody of the kids but I'm scared the judge will deny me 'cause they are all in hoots down there, and they are "trying" to reunify the kids with their mom, so they say. The case worker I guess was texting the fosters though telling them that mom wasn't ready to have these kids back yet she had a longgggg ways to go before she'd be ready for them. Anyone ever gone through this? Should I petition the court for custody of my nephews? Anyone ever done this across state before?

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family_man
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Re: Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advic

Postby family_man » Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:36 am

I believe you (or preferably a MO attorney that you retain) should file a motion with the court to order DFS to conduct a home study of your home in VA. This is the first step in the ICPC process. (Do a Google search on Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children.) MO DHS will send a request to VA CPS to have a caseworker prepare a report about the suitability of your home for the children. If the report is favorable, it constitutes the consent of VA to have the children placed in that state. Your next step is to use that report as evidence to convince MO DHS to place the children in your home. If they don't agree, you can then file a motion with the court to order them to be placed with you, based on the best interests of the children. A good family attorney in MO will know how to do this effectively.

While they are placed you, the state of MO will still have legal custody over them. (You will have physical custody.) MO DHS will then request VA CPS to monitor your family. VA will send a caseworker to periodically visit with you and the children to ensure everything is going smoothly. Meanwhile, your brother and in-law will each proceed with their individual case plans. If one or the other (or both) successfully completes their plan for reunification, MO DHS will then place the children with that parent. MO DHS will still have legal custody. If after a certain period of time, they are ready to close the case, legal custody will be returned to the parent(s).

If things do not go well with reunification, then MO CPS may seek to terminate the parental rights of the parents. If MO DHS then intends to allow you to adopt them, it will need permission under the ICPC from VA to allow you to do that. Another option is not to terminate parental right but transfer permanent legal custody to you. Again, that would require VA approval.
Disclaimer: I am not an attorney, and this is not legal advice.

navywifea
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Re: Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advic

Postby navywifea » Mon Apr 20, 2015 11:04 am

I have requested the first step, for them to come look at my house, they said it could take up to 6 months. They are all ready trying to terminate my brothers rights for the infant and he hasnt even been found guilty or not yet. And how do they reunify a family across states? At the moment mom has visitation with children in moms home, but thats it, so not sure how shed be able to show she is ready for them to come home if they're in VA with me.

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family_man
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Re: Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advic

Postby family_man » Tue Apr 21, 2015 6:46 am

Yes it could take up to 6 months, but mine was done in less than two. It's not just a quick visit to your home. They also evaluate your finances to ensure that you are able to support the children. They do criminal and CPS background checks on you and your household. They evaluate the safety of your home: Do you have guns lying around? Is it clean and orderly? Do you have smoke detectors, fire extinguishers and a fire escape plan?

If MO-DHS believes the mother is ready to be reunified, they will yank the children away from you and bring them back to her. Remember, DHS will still have legal custody. The mother would convince DHS that she's ready by completing the items on her case plan. Items that involve face-to-face contact with the children would have to be removed from the plan if the children were placed in VA. If she fails to compete her plan, and you express an interest to adopt, DHS could return the children to you and terminate the mother's rights.

ASFA requires DHS to take "reasonable efforts" to reunify the children with both parents, unless extraordinary circumstance exist. These include things like a sibling dying due to abuse or neglect, etc. Usually, they don't start the TPR process until after about a year after the children were taken into custody.
Disclaimer: I am not an attorney, and this is not legal advice.

navywifea
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Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:54 am

Re: Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advic

Postby navywifea » Wed Apr 22, 2015 2:55 am

Thank you so much! They are still denying me an icpc because they are trying to reunify my sister in law but she still has charges pending against her. I have been going up the chain of command trying to get some where with this mess, so far nothing though. Ive been ready for the home study so hopefully something happens. Ill update if something happens.

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family_man
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Re: Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advic

Postby family_man » Wed Apr 22, 2015 9:35 am

As I said in my first post, "going up the command chain" could involve taking the matter to the judge, who ultimately can override whatever DHS does. All things being equal, close relatives should have priority over foster parents for placement purposes. This is a legal requirement.
Disclaimer: I am not an attorney, and this is not legal advice.

navywifea
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Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:54 am

Re: Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advic

Postby navywifea » Wed May 06, 2015 10:00 am

The problem im encountering is that the people holding my nephews in foster care is a private organization with their own agenda. Thy say it is too hard to reunify across state. They are ignoring the fact that the longer the foster family has them the more of a chance they will get custody instead of me. I hired an attorney to try and get guardianship, so we will see how it goes from here.

navywifea
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:54 am

Re: Brother & Sister in trouble in another state, need advic

Postby navywifea » Thu May 07, 2015 2:37 am

UPDATE:

Just got news that there is a very good chance this private organization is going to be moving the children to moms grandma's house. Back story on moms grandma. Grandma's son (moms dad) raped all three of her grandchildren for six years and grandma never turned him in even though there was evidence of the crime. Mom has told this organization at the beginning, what he had done to her and they said they had reports of it that confirmed the story from others. They are still considering placement of the children with this grandma, even though her son is still in and out of her home all the time.

How could they do this? Over placing them with me, they stick them in a home where children had all ready been abused and are the reason the children are the way they are today! My whole family is upset at this news. From bad to worse.


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