I've packed away all the baby knitting patterns and baby yarns. I've blocked updates from my FaceBook friends who are constantly posting pictures of their brand new grandkids. (I wish them much happiness, but constantly seeing all those darling baby photos all over my wall is just too hard.) Last night I attended an event at church. A woman there was wearing a baby-blue sweatshirt with sparkly rhinestone lettering that said something about how wonderful it is to be a grandma. It took some effort to hold back the tears.
And the worst of it is, there was no good reason for it to be this way. My son and his wife would never have endangered a child. They were in the midst of solving their own housing problems when CPS stepped in and made everything ten times worse than it was. It will take them years to recover financially. As for recovering emotionally, does anyone ever really get over something like this?
Just a Vent
Moderators: family_man, LindaJM
Just a Vent
These are my personal opinions only. They are not legal, medical, or financial advice.
Re: Just a Vent
No, I don't think it is possible to get over it. Eventually you may feel at peace, but there's an empty space in your family, and a recurring ache in the heart. I still don't understand how they can terminate rights for your son. Surely there must be a way? Are they completing all their court-ordered services?
Sample Document Library
Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.
"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...
Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.
"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...
Re: Just a Vent
Linda, my son lost his job the week the baby was born, and has been unable to find another one near home. DSHS was still demanding high levels of child support (although he finally got that straightened out), he's been constantly on the verge of having his utilities shut off, and he even let his car registration lapse because he can't afford gas. He refuses on principle to apply for welfare or other benefits. He recently decided the only way to get a decent job was to go out of state to get some job training. (The company will pay for the training, and then he will have an obligation to work for them for a specific amount of time.) Of course, he will not be able to comply with services while he is gone. I don't know if it will be enough, for just his wife to comply.
These are my personal opinions only. They are not legal, medical, or financial advice.
Re: Just a Vent
Probably not. They will want to use it against him if he isn't attending counseling, or whatever his service plan stated he was supposed to do. He should let the caseworker know he wants services in the other county while he's getting his job training, and that the services have to be provided on the days he won't be working. You might want to check with the attorney about that. Is getting a job one of the court ordered requirements for getting his child back?
Sample Document Library
Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.
"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...
Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.
"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...
Re: Just a Vent
Thank you for the suggestion, Linda.
I don't think getting a job was part of the case plan. I'm not even sure what the case plan requires. Of course, he needed another job whether CPS mandated it or not. He has always been a hard worker. Losing his last job was bad enough, then CPS got into the picture and everything was suddenly ten times worse. How do you concentrate on finding a job when you're traumatized?
The new job is out of state. If it works out, my son and his wife will probably move there once their case is closed. They don't want to establish a CPS history in the new state.
I don't think getting a job was part of the case plan. I'm not even sure what the case plan requires. Of course, he needed another job whether CPS mandated it or not. He has always been a hard worker. Losing his last job was bad enough, then CPS got into the picture and everything was suddenly ten times worse. How do you concentrate on finding a job when you're traumatized?
The new job is out of state. If it works out, my son and his wife will probably move there once their case is closed. They don't want to establish a CPS history in the new state.
These are my personal opinions only. They are not legal, medical, or financial advice.
Re: Just a Vent
You never get over a lost of a child even if you grew up with no parents yourself. Parenting is a natural gift from God. No, you never get over it; you just have to learn coping skills. My heart goes out for broken families. I get to see my children now that their grown. I love them the same but it isn't really the same because if CPS wouldn't have attract my family so much I had the God-given tools to make them so secure and loved. God bless you.
Return to “Recovery From CPS Trauma”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 35 guests