My Story....

How does one recover from trauma and PTSD? This area is for people who have been attacked by CPS and are having a hard time getting over it.

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Liza
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:03 am

My Story....

Postby Liza » Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:08 pm

Here is my story . My daughter got pregaant @ 16. She had been in therapy since the age of 6. I had moments that I thought my daughter was not getting better from therapy. Her therapist said give it a chance and the growth will come and she will get better . I wanted to show some stablity to this therpaist and trust and keep the same one . So I did not switch and intrusted her .

My daughter had some issues . Devolpmentally delayed . Iq of 65 maybe a little lower . But abouts there . Me and my daughter prepaired for her child to come home . Had everything I mean everything he needed. Two in one crib , diaper Jenaie, stocked up on diapers and ect etc etc etc etc etc etc . The therapist at some point had some concerns about my daughter be able to raiise this child . And my abilty to help her rasie this child . I am mentally ill myself with bi -polor deperession . (THIS HAS NEVER ever impaired my judement or ablity to raise her ).
The therpist yes made that call to DCFS.


Now DCFS is notified ok . So they no they no my daughters pre dispostions and conditions . So she is still pregant at this time now . They set up parenting classes, that she took . And many other servces she was set up with . EVEN after she was going to have him .

The big day comes . My daughter delived a handsome boy . Healthy, drug free baby boy . After he was born he had some trouble breathing so they took him to ISU for oberservation . He was fine and breathing on his own . BUT BUT was still kept in ISU. Well hmmmm right? He was circumsized . I had a son several years ago I lost to hemopllia after he was circumsized . So as a grandmother and with our family history I nthought this was ONLY i pre caution . After the 3 day they finally released my daughter anbd we were told that my grandson was being taken into protective custody . I told DCFS he had made a mistake and we already were recieving asstaince from the department and he was coming home. He informed me that he was NOT coming home and that he nwas in protective custudy .

The tears of secirtity by me and my daugghter were not justified . It was as if we had done some thing and NEVER ever my daughter never EVER even had him in the room with he at all . WOW!!! Really ! My daughter screaming MOM MOM MY son . AS security waS BEHIND US AS DCFS wisked him away . For NO REASON!

Here me and my daughter went back home without her son . Empty crib, to look at . A home filled with things to welcome him into the world but he ONLY was not there .

That Next monday we went to court and of course he remained in the custudy . Service plans were put into place for return home within a year. My daughter struggled with this but completetd her service plans even . Ok the plan still was return home within a year .

The care they gave my grandson was a disgarce . HOW CAN THEY DO THIS? The amount of homes they kept moving him to sure was NOT stablity . I appealed this decsion. That decsion and so on and so on . I wrote letters to attorneys generals CC every copy of everything . I wrote letters to the chicgo office . Complaining about this and that . They were all CC and AND certified mail . Yes indeed .


Well they said Icould was not capable of rasising my grandson because of the problems and conflicts me and my daughter had . So the foster mother that had had my grandson offered to foster my daughter and him together . Sicne she had him already . WEll damn i did something I regered . I locked my daughter out . SO SO this foster mother (since she was more fit then me ) to take my daughetr and her son and foster them togther . WELL DCFS would NOT allow that at all . So now I did not have my daughter or grandson and NOW they were using this against me that I locked my daughter out . Yes .

So this foster mother steps up and she writes letters and vocies her concern about the sitaution . They deny her request to do this because well her foster home was ful. WEll damit THEY can move some out and move her in . THIS was the solotuion and would cause the leass truama to my grandson from being moved here to there to there and there . And woould have given my daugvhter a chance to bond and be fostered with her son . They denied this request .

My grandson lived with his other grandma (for a short time ). She was an addict , alcholic , a felon and had NOTHING for him . NHOT even a crib . But case workers found this envirment more fit then mine though . Also my daughter was 16 when she got pregant and her son was 18 . Yes 18 . But no one NO One in courts looked at the fact that my daughter was under aged when she got pregant but HER 18 year old son . BUT they had him . Yes they had him for a short time . They were more fit and stable then me .

He was moved eventually from the other grandmas house eventaully .

We were at the bitter end of this fight and had got it all the way to supreme court . It did NOT take presidence . In the supreme court system . Rights got terminated and I had NO other measures to take . I had fight them for three long long hard years and lost . How inhumane i felt . How inhumane my daughter felt . What did my daughter do wrong? She completed everything . What did I do wrong? Yes I am on diablity . But I am sane,stable, on section 8 housing and always made the right decions and choioces for my daughter the best I could .

I had three attorneys that told me that if I or my daughter had been addicts to the department me or my daughter could have been rehabliatative . But because we are NOT addicts we ARE NOT rehablatative . WHAT AN OUTRAGE!!!!!!! OMG! HOW CAN THEY DO THIS? And contuine to get away with it . Second the deprtment does NOT like me . AS I fought them for so damn long and challenged them . The resented me casue I fought them for some damn long and so hard .

My grandson now is 6. We do not no his whereabouts well being or anything . My daughter is scared . Scared to death. Has suffred 2 miscarrages just from the fear and stress of loosing another . I have just lost hope . In life . In people . In my family . I do not no what else to do . I am so depressed and alone and alonel . With no one . NO ONE at all . Please HELP SOME ONE! Thank you for listening .

User avatar
Eljay
Posts: 2645
Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:01 am

Re: My Story....

Postby Eljay » Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:12 pm

Your story is tragic. It sounds like things are far too gone to change anything. The one thing you should probably share with your daughter is that if they terminated parental rights, they have the right to do the same to any future children. As unbelievable as it sounds, if you daughter has another child, they can actually take that one right from the hospital as well. :(
Advice & opinions provided are no substitute for genuine legal assistance. Laws & rules vary by state/jurisdiction so do your homework and get
an education in CPS laws, rules & practices so that you can FIGHT for your children's rights. I am not a lawyer. Your mileage may vary.

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Liza
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:03 am

Re: My Story....

Postby Liza » Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:09 pm

Eljay wrote:Your story is tragic. It sounds like things are far too gone to change anything. The one thing you should probably share with your daughter is that if they terminated parental rights, they have the right to do the same to any future children. As unbelievable as it sounds, if you daughter has another child, they can actually take that one right from the hospital as well. :(



Unbeliable!!!! How? WHY? We do not have the right to perserve our family? How in the hell is it that others can have 6 or seven children and my daughter cant have one? How can they dothis? How dehumanzing ? OMG! Any body any one have ANY suggestions? PLEASE!!!!!

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Eljay
Posts: 2645
Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:01 am

Re: My Story....

Postby Eljay » Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:45 pm

Liza wrote:
Eljay wrote:Your story is tragic. It sounds like things are far too gone to change anything. The one thing you should probably share with your daughter is that if they terminated parental rights, they have the right to do the same to any future children. As unbelievable as it sounds, if you daughter has another child, they can actually take that one right from the hospital as well. :(



Unbeliable!!!! How? WHY? We do not have the right to perserve our family? How in the hell is it that others can have 6 or seven children and my daughter cant have one? How can they dothis? How dehumanzing ? OMG! Any body any one have ANY suggestions? PLEASE!!!!!


Change her name and/or move out of the state if she wants to keep any future children.
Advice & opinions provided are no substitute for genuine legal assistance. Laws & rules vary by state/jurisdiction so do your homework and get
an education in CPS laws, rules & practices so that you can FIGHT for your children's rights. I am not a lawyer. Your mileage may vary.

----<>----<>----<>---- BREED WITH CAUTION ----<>----<>----<>----

User avatar
Daruma
Posts: 677
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 12:34 pm

Re: My Story....

Postby Daruma » Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:52 pm

My heart really goes out to you. Your case reminds me a little of my DIL's case. She also got pregnant as a minor, and she has learning disabilities. Her mother has untreated (probably undiagnosed) mental issues, which manifest as hoarding (filthy house full of stuff). CPS took my DIL's first baby away because of her learning disabilities and the filth in her mother's home. Then, after she was older and married, they took her second baby, partly because she already had a history with them. She has never abused a child, never even brought a baby home from the hospital, but now she's officially labelled a child abuser. Just like your daughter.

If they've already terminated parental rights, there's almost zero chance your daughter could get the baby back. I'm sorry to give you such bad news. It isn't right, and it isn't fair, but that's how it works.

One thing that concerns me is that she's had more pregnancies since then. Can you get her on some kind of birth control, at least for now? In order to keep any future babies, her best chance would be if she were out of her teens and living in another state, in a clean and well-maintained home, ideally married to a man with a steady income and no criminal background. As long as she's unmarried and living in the same jurisdiction, she'll be an easy target for CPS.
These are my personal opinions only. They are not legal, medical, or financial advice.

Liza
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:03 am

Re: My Story....

Postby Liza » Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:05 pm

Daruma wrote:My heart really goes out to you. Your case reminds me a little of my DIL's case. She also got pregnant as a minor, and she has learning disabilities. Her mother has untreated (probably undiagnosed) mental issues, which manifest as hoarding (filthy house full of stuff). CPS took my DIL's first baby away because of her learning disabilities and the filth in her mother's home. Then, after she was older and married, they took her second baby, partly because she already had a history with them. She has never abused a child, never even brought a baby home from the hospital, but now she's officially labelled a child abuser. Just like your daughter.

If they've already terminated parental rights, there's almost zero chance your daughter could get the baby back. I'm sorry to give you such bad news. It isn't right, and it isn't fair, but that's how it works.

One thing that concerns me is that she's had more pregnancies since then. Can you get her on some kind of birth control, at least for now? In order to keep any future babies, her best chance would be if she were out of her teens and living in another state, in a clean and well-maintained home, ideally married to a man with a steady income and no criminal background. As long as she's unmarried and living in the same jurisdiction, she'll be an easy target for CPS.


Thank you for your concern . My daughter now is 21. I have ALWAYS provided a clean safe and well maintained home. Attorney after attorney has told me and my daughter if we were addicts we would have been more rehabatative and she would have got her child back. HOW CAN an addct be more fit? How! Its destroyed my relationship with my daughter! SOBBBBBBBBBBB!

User avatar
Daruma
Posts: 677
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 12:34 pm

Re: My Story....

Postby Daruma » Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:52 pm

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that your home was filthy, though I see how it came across that way. I guess I got carried away remembering what it was like for my son and DIL. Her mom moved in with them for a while (against my son's wishes) and ended up trashing their home, too, which is another reason DIL lost her second baby. I guess I was having a bit of a flashback while I was writing.
These are my personal opinions only. They are not legal, medical, or financial advice.

Liza
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:03 am

Re: My Story....

Postby Liza » Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:04 pm

Daruma wrote:Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that your home was filthy, though I see how it came across that way. I guess I got carried away remembering what it was like for my son and DIL. Her mom moved in with them for a while (against my son's wishes) and ended up trashing their home, too, which is another reason DIL lost her second baby. I guess I was having a bit of a flashback while I was writing.


No its ok! I did not think you were impling that my house was filthy. It is ok . Just a point I wanna prove . Is this . My home is clean and well maintained . But his other grandma ( that had him a short time) her home was filthy. Dirty, filthy, roaches and so on . But her environment was more fit then mine . DCFS has a double standard. I still DONT understand how in the hell they keep doing this and getting away with it. THEY HAVE TO BE STOPPED. ThERE MUST BE a WAY and SOMETHING we can all do if we pull togther .

MaggieNYC
Posts: 50
Joined: Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:13 pm

Re: My Story....

Postby MaggieNYC » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:09 pm

You need a privately retained attorney or one from legal aid or another local legal services group.

Also, if your daughter is somewhat disabled, mentally or physically, you might want to reach out to any organization concerned with Americans with Disabilites. ADA.

Yes, you are right, it was not fair. It is not fair at all.

noroses4u2c
Posts: 877
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 11:57 am

Re: My Story....

Postby noroses4u2c » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:05 pm

And the regular public keeps insisting that something major has to happen to terminate a parent's rights. It's not true at all.

I know here in KY if a young woman had been in foster care at some point in her life and has a baby here in the hospitals that CPS sometimes takes the baby before she can take the baby home. She is flagged in the system. I keep trying to tell people about this and they just don't believe it and insist that the mother had to have done something wrong. The ignorance infuriates me.

If your daughter ever wants children she needs to be far away from where you all live and never divulge that she had other children previously. And divulging the mental illness would be a mistake as well.

I hope your daughter is living with you again. She needs your love and support to get through what is happening to her.
My child was abducted by the government. They demanded a ransom (the case plan). I paid the ransom and my child was kept anyway. It isn't much different from stranger abduction except that the government uses its power to make the abduction legal and unpunishable.

MaggieNYC
Posts: 50
Joined: Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:13 pm

Re: My Story....

Postby MaggieNYC » Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:09 pm

noroses, the same holds true in the UK. That is, if a parent had ever been in 'care' most likely all of her children will be taken away at birth. The UK and Canada and Australia and the US all seem to follow the same policy.


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