primal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my mom!

How does one recover from trauma and PTSD? This area is for people who have been attacked by CPS and are having a hard time getting over it.

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survivorsofcps
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Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:50 pm

primal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my mom!

Postby survivorsofcps » Wed Oct 10, 2012 6:01 pm

I want to include a section on this in my book. So especially you moms please help me put this in a way I can put in my book.
Last edited by survivorsofcps on Sun Oct 14, 2012 6:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Eljay
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Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby Eljay » Wed Oct 10, 2012 6:32 pm

What do you mean by "mortal wound"?
Advice & opinions provided are no substitute for genuine legal assistance. Laws & rules vary by state/jurisdiction so do your homework and get
an education in CPS laws, rules & practices so that you can FIGHT for your children's rights. I am not a lawyer. Your mileage may vary.

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survivorsofcps
Posts: 182
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:50 pm

Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby survivorsofcps » Wed Oct 10, 2012 8:45 pm

sorry I meant primal
I was removed at a very young age.

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Eljay
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Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby Eljay » Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:38 am

Even children who are abused by a parent often love and long for that parent. Unless the abuse is especially heinous and done at a later age when they can really make a cognitive assessment of the situation, then they may develop hate and/or disassociation. I'm sure there are studies. I remember seeing a study/statistic last year that found that the majority of foster children go back to their natural parents once they turn 18.
Advice & opinions provided are no substitute for genuine legal assistance. Laws & rules vary by state/jurisdiction so do your homework and get
an education in CPS laws, rules & practices so that you can FIGHT for your children's rights. I am not a lawyer. Your mileage may vary.

----<>----<>----<>---- BREED WITH CAUTION ----<>----<>----<>----

survivorsofcps
Posts: 182
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:50 pm

Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby survivorsofcps » Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:42 am

I guess I should be more specific.
She did not abuse me.
I was abused in my adoptive home,
Yet people seem to think I should be grateful to my adoptive parents and not want my mother simply because they adopted me and my mother was poor/disabled. I still say they stole me. I still say I was kidnapped. Even if I blocked out the event itself I have always felt that way. Even though my mother died and I ended up stuck there for a long time.
Eljay did you read my all the post about my story? It gives more specifics in the later sections, especially the question and answer. I know it is long but it is meant to become a book.
I loved my mom very much. She did not do drugs or drink alcohol.

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Eljay
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Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby Eljay » Thu Oct 11, 2012 10:56 am

Yes, I'm aware, I'm saying even those OTHER children, even when horribly abused, still want their parents. It's natural. The bond is even stronger the other way... when you have kids, they can lie, cheat, steal from and abuse you and you'll still have this unconditional love, unbreakable bond, eternal sense of hope that they will turn their lives around, and these parents often blame themselves (where did I go wrong???). So, there's no huge mystery that you would want your mom. Even babies who are adopted out at birth have a longing to meet the parents who gave them up, to find their history, seek out siblings. Did you ever see Troy Dunn's show, "The Locator"?

http://www.troythelocator.com/Main.asp
Advice & opinions provided are no substitute for genuine legal assistance. Laws & rules vary by state/jurisdiction so do your homework and get
an education in CPS laws, rules & practices so that you can FIGHT for your children's rights. I am not a lawyer. Your mileage may vary.

----<>----<>----<>---- BREED WITH CAUTION ----<>----<>----<>----

survivorsofcps
Posts: 182
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:50 pm

Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby survivorsofcps » Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:35 pm

"The bond is even stronger the other way... when you have kids, they can lie, cheat, steal from and abuse you and you'll still have this unconditional love, unbreakable bond, eternal sense of hope that they will turn their lives around, and these parents often blame themselves (where did I go wrong???)."
Yeah I understand. I love mine so much and would be very sad if they went off and hurt themselves or others. Its just hard to put into words sometimes.
My dad was no saint either. He did do drugs and drink. Yet I don't think he ever hurt me. I was angry with him for a time but now I pity him. He missed out on so much. His wife his kids his life in general. I think it stemmed from abuse that he suffered as a child. I understand all that now. I still care about him.
I will check out the link thanks.

survivorsofcps
Posts: 182
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:50 pm

Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby survivorsofcps » Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:49 pm

Unfortunately I cannot be reunited with my mom. She is dead. My sisters and I do not have much contact. Mostly it is because my older sister told me I should give my son up for adoption. After all we went through i thought she would have understood why I would never do that. In fact it made me mad that she would even suggest that.
i really have no one to reunite with. I'm aware of my dad whereabouts and he has met my children. Not much beyond that.
The only thing left that would help fill in the blanks and some questions that haven't been answered yet are hidden away in the files cps keeps. That and I could die from my medical condition makes me want all the records they have. But I have no way of getting them. I've called the hospitals and cps with no luck. It is to far for me to travel there.
My only hope is a congressman/senator or a private investigator.

Sarah79
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Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby Sarah79 » Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:45 pm

Why you would long for your Mom. Because it is in your biological makeup. You have her blood in your veins. One of the most very basic things in life is the bond between mother and child. Biologically meaning that there may be many people in my life that I love and that love me even in a parental way but there is never ever going to be anyone that could take the place of my birth mother and I think if I had no memory of her that would even make it harder for me to get over it. It would probably plague me the rest of my life.

I adopted a child overseas. When my husband found him he was literally starving. His father was killed in war and his Mom died giving birth to him. When we found him he was just totally abandoned and could not even tell us where to find a living relative.

Long story - we adopted him - he was older but still very much in need. I loved him just exactly as my birth children. Lavished him with praise, gifts, love as did my kids and husband. He constantly wanted his birth family Grandma, Aunt etc...even though he hardly had any memory of them at all. He couldn't even tell us their names when we found him but once we got them involved he knew that was where he belonged and to whom he belonged. He to be adopted because he wanted to be in America and because the family felt that it would be best for his life but we never gained a place in his heart.

I don't blame him in part. Now I can see clearly all the many sides of this foster care, adoption, birth family, parent- child bond I think we were ridiculous in our ideas of adoption and how he would feel toward us and the extent that we could help him.

survivorsofcps
Posts: 182
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:50 pm

Re: mortal wound PLZ help me explain why I still long 4 my m

Postby survivorsofcps » Fri Oct 12, 2012 7:36 am

At least you went through the effort to understand where he was coming from.I think when he grows up he will appreciate you for that. Even if he wanted his real family more you had the decency to understand that longing and respect it. Many adoptive parents do not seem to have that respect for the real family and the children they adopt. You took the time to ask and listen. That is real love. To sacrifice what you want and your needs and wants for the sake of what the child wants and needs. It seems in your case you went to great lengths to show him that you really care about and his wishes. Many go in to adoption with unrealistic expectations and are sometimes disappointed in the outcome. Real love always does what is best not just financially but for the whole person.


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