post traumatic stress disorder

How does one recover from trauma and PTSD? This area is for people who have been attacked by CPS and are having a hard time getting over it.

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mom9
Posts: 47
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2012 11:40 am

Re: post traumatic stress disorder

Postby mom9 » Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:23 pm

It's hard to believe it's been almost a year. A year since CPS got involved for the first time in our family. I have been homeschooling
since 1986 so I always had a concern that they could be a problem. That is why we paid Homeschool Legal Defense Association every year
to be there if we needed them. They never got involved in our homeschooling all those years. I miss the life I once enjoyed with my children all around me. Oh, how much I miss those precious times. :(
When this first happened and CPS was officially a problem I felt I couldn't function. It was so hard to sleep and of course in the morning
I would awaken and hope it was all a bad dream, and of course it wasn't. I had trouble even doing the little things in my home. I'm so glad my husband was such a loving husband and didn't let those little things bother him. I know he knew how hard it was for me as he was also having a hard time.
Cooking and cleaning would be sporadic and I did them as I felt I wanted to. I have tried not to push myself. Someday I would be whole again. I just needed my family back together. I would be able to function better when that happened. Each time we went to court I thought things would get better. They couldn't get any worse I thought. :evil: Well, they got a lot worse and here I sit and have not sat in the presense of my daughter since December of 2011. :(
When I would be out in the community I would see mothers with their children and grandchildren and it would be impossible to function.
I would try to shop when children might be sleeping. That seemed to help. I would also try not to go out alone as that was my time to fall apart. If I was crying I could hardly drive. Those days are thankfully a bit better. I still miss my daughter so much and the unity of my family but God has kept me through it all.My husband and I both chose a counselor in the beginning and she has helped my tremendously. She told me to do the chores when I felt I was ready. The desire would come someday. My counselor said she feels it is PTSD. She says you have lost a lot very quickly. Thankfully my therapist is a Christian. She suggested a devotional for me called "Jesus Callin." That helps a lot, too. It reminds me of God's never ending presence with me. I began to occassionally feel like doing some of the little things again. I cook some but still don't cook like I used to. Our family is not as large right now and I always cook too much when I do cook. I'm used to cooking for a bigger amount of people. We eat out a bit but have to be careful as there isn't much money lately. This has helped me to put on a lot of extra weight, too. I just want to be someday normal again and to be able to hug my children. :(
The one thing I get on this site is to never, never give up. I think that is what keeps me going. I try not to lose the hope that my family will be whole again.

Sarah79
Posts: 122
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:49 pm

Re: post traumatic stress disorder

Postby Sarah79 » Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:41 pm

There is healing I think. This is the first time in forever I just find myself naturally engaging in activities I used to enjoy before my life became a nightmare. Decorating the house, cooking, family outings....

The kids used to say "mom remember when you used to....." or they say "Mom, DHS has made you crazy." But little by little they see the old me. I am happy to see the old me like a long lost friend I forgot about....

I know the saying "time heals all wounds" we'll see. I got my kids back so maybe there is some hope but I cannot even concieve of the day that my anger does not burn hot about this.

mom9
Posts: 47
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2012 11:40 am

Re: post traumatic stress disorder

Postby mom9 » Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:38 am

Dear Sarah79,
I hear you about the normal everyday activities of a mom and wife. I get excited when I prepare a nice meal but it has never been so hard. I used to love doing womanly activities. I thank God for the progress I have made though. I actually on Sunday could not go in the same door at church that my girls used to enter every Sunday with me. I can now do that. I can go to the store and most of the time not weep all the way home for what I once had. God is good. I really can relate to the anger about what has happened and why it's not over yet. Thank you for your encouragement.

Sarah79
Posts: 122
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:49 pm

Re: post traumatic stress disorder

Postby Sarah79 » Mon Nov 05, 2012 10:14 pm

Frustrated frustrated and more and more and more frustrated.....and outraged......and frustrated!

But I have hope! I have really really really suffered with PTSD.....last month it was really really bad. My therapist was even telling me that I needed light therapy to make the memories go into the back of the mind and not stay in the front of my mind. The Lord has really broken that down in me and I feel a new spirit of hope becoming the dominant force in my life.

I was so angry angry angry and bitter and bitter and more bitter.....I think I have recognized how destructive that is in my life and how I have to forgive those who totally had forsaken us. And that has done alot to heal me although I am not all the way there yet. For me forgiveness is the answer to my healing from PTSD and it is a daily thing at this point. But I have hope and I know that I will be overcome this with the Lord's help. Like a preacher I like to listen to says "When people throw crap on your lawn til it in and make fertilizer!" I know it's not that easy but I know with His help I can beat this whole thing. It will not control me it will Not define me!!

Sarah79
Posts: 122
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:49 pm

Re: post traumatic stress disorder

Postby Sarah79 » Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:44 pm

Just a positive something I wanted to share.

I thought my life was over. I thought my kids lives were over. I could not see anything but dark blackness all around us. That was true. I could not see my way through this any way at all.

But today I realized that life has moved on for me. It is very different than it was when this happened but it is very fullfilling. I would just sit and not even be able to see the day when this would not overcome me with grief. I still think about it every day and what happened but my life has been filled with so many things and people I would have never known before. My kids have a strength and our family has an iron bond that it would never have had before. My daughter said to me "before this happened we never touched each other and hugged like we do now." We know what we mean to each other.

I just was sitting today with my Commissioner friend and she said to me "look at you! You are still standing." And I said "that's right!" And I realize I am still standing.

dachshundfan
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:08 am

Re: post traumatic stress disorder

Postby dachshundfan » Tue Sep 17, 2013 11:17 pm

I know I suffer from PTSD because of CPS. I also suffer from severe depression now because of them. I cannot live my life normally anymore knowing how powerful they are and how corrupt the system is. It almost makes me rethink having anymore children, knowing they can snatch them in a heartbeat with an anonymous phone call or no evidence . My kids are 9 and 4 and all I want to do is raise them without worrying about CPS knocking on the door. It just isn't worth the pain, stress or suffering. As a parent who had a CPS investigation, I now realize that it can happen to anyone no matter what your family income is. It is so scary! The CPS workers are robot soldiers!

CPS WORKERS SCARE CHILDREN! CHANGE CPS LAWS NOW!!!!!

TLCSDC
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 08, 2014 11:16 am

Re: post traumatic stress disorder

Postby TLCSDC » Sat Mar 08, 2014 2:08 pm

I was diagnosed with ptsd I feel like a nut case daily and I think everyone is going to leave me. They have a open investigation and will not even let me see my children. I feel lost. I have 5 children my oldest 2 which are twins have been with me my 3 year old I haven't seen in 6 months. Dfcs made me sign temp guardianship to her bio aunt 2 years ago without doing any kind of investigation on a bogus report and will not help me find her to get her back. My 2 youngest which are 2 and 11 months are somewhere with there dad only bc we are still married and he snatched them and ran no one will help with that either. I didn't know there was anyone I could talk to about this much less a website. I can't leave my house without having a melt down. I can't work I really don't know what to do anymore.


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