Can My kids move in with me???

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missmykids2
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Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:49 am

Can My kids move in with me???

Postby missmykids2 » Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:10 am

I have been falsely accused but outrageously founded by social services on their stupid list of abusing my oldest daughter. It went no where legally they dismissed it. But still CPS put me on their list. That was 3 yrs ago. Since then, my ex has cut off all contact to the girls from everyone in my family. I have litteraly been sick from this, mentally it broke me down. I put everything in higher hands and have finally gotten to a better place and gotten a great job after returning to school. A week ago my ex finds my work number on line..was patched through from the switch board and out of the blue i'm on the phone with both my daughters...i lost it! Completely broke down at my desk in front of everyone because i had not spoken to them in years. He tells me that he knows i didn't do what i was accused of and that he wants the girls to come live with me because he has failed as a daughter. I've gotten several cryptic messages from him since then but no more phone calls. I have the means to fly them here like today but he keeps blowing me off. Then the last email states book the tickets and email the itinerary to him and they'll be on the flight. MY QUESTION IS THIS...no where in any of my paper work does it say i have no contact, no custody (i had partial custody before because of moving out of the state where he was stationed and a bad divorce turn out) Can they legally move in with me? I have no idea what to do. I have run out of money for lawyers and legal aid of course does not help with these types of cases. The only way i can fly them is because my parents will by the tickets. Can some one point me in the right direction really quick???? thanks! God Bless you all!

Sherry K.

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Eljay
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Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:01 am

Re: Can My kids move in with me???

Postby Eljay » Fri Jun 29, 2012 9:57 am

Yes. In my opinion - because I don't know your case/situation and I'm just a crazy lady from the internet - but I would say yes for the following reasons:

1. If this all went down three years ago, your case has been closed by CPS. Which means one of three things... they either:
- terminated your parental rights
- settled at the end that you had zero custody
- NOT settled and they just let things stand where they were prior to their involvement

If they TPR'd you, then while you have no "rights" to demand to see your daughters, that doesn't mean that you CAN'T see them. Furthermore, they can't terminate a child's rights to see parents. If, OTOH, there was no TPR but a custody order was handed down giving dad 100% custody (which you may not know of if you left before this was all resolved), then you need to ensure that the girls come with an iron clad change in custody order. This needs to be blessed by the courts, likely in your state. I think it follows the residency of the girls so depending on whether you do it here or there, I don't know... there's a lot I don't know about custody, but google 'free legal aid' or 'family court help' along with your state name and find someone who can answer your questions.... lots of forms are on-line. However, if nothing ever changed and there was no formal change of custody made by any court, then you have nothing to worry about, assuming dad isn't going to challenge it.

2. Whatever hell CPS put you through, I'm so sorry. Please know that whatever you stated about them finding you 'guilty' of abuse/neglect ONLY goes as far as going on that state's child abuse registry. When employers are looking to hire you, AND you may be around children, this will be part of the background check. If you are on the child abuse registry, then you may be disqualified for jobs where children are present (schools, hospitals, retail stores, restaurants, etc.). However, you can explain to any future employer that it was all based on lies if that's an issue. If you were NOT found guilty of a crime, you'll have no criminal record. I would also work to have your name removed from the registry if you still live in that state. EVEN IF you are still on that list and still in that state, that does NOT mean you can't have your children. CPS is in the business of "validating" child abuse/neglect and then "fixing" parents by making them go to classes, therapy, treatment, etc. and the children can be returned in the end, even though the parents did actually abuse/neglect at one point in time.

3. Questions: Have you been paying child support all this time? Are you expecting him to pay? Is he expecting to be able to see the girls in the future? Has he been getting welfare/aid for them?

4. And... Do they have to fly alone? How old are they? Are they going to come with just what they can carry? That's got to be traumatic! Can anyone drive and pick them up?
Advice & opinions provided are no substitute for genuine legal assistance. Laws & rules vary by state/jurisdiction so do your homework and get
an education in CPS laws, rules & practices so that you can FIGHT for your children's rights. I am not a lawyer. Your mileage may vary.

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missmykids2
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:49 am

Re: Can My kids move in with me???

Postby missmykids2 » Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:21 am

Hi Eljay, thanks for your reply. The girls have flown back and forth between the ex and I since they were a lot younger. every summer and holidays. No, I didn't have to pay child support because we had agreed on that during our divorce. When one parent has them they are responsible for their needs. It worked out well. They never had to lug along anything during traveling. I'm just trying to figure out what my rights are...cause i'm on this dumb list. They said from the beginning there aren't going to be criminal charges because there was no evidence for me to be charged. I have the opportunity to have them back with me full time permanently as of 2 weeks from now as long as I know it's ok. I'm trying to find a lawyer now to answer my questions. There dad is not challenging anything...that's my whole point. after not being able to contact them because he was keeping them from my whole side of the family, He called me up out of the blue and asked me to take them. Says they need me in their lives and he has failed as a father. So all I need is paperwork.

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Eljay
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Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:01 am

Re: Can My kids move in with me???

Postby Eljay » Sat Jun 30, 2012 1:39 pm

I don't see anything to prevent you from resuming 100% mom duty. It sounds like you're good to go. Good luck!
Advice & opinions provided are no substitute for genuine legal assistance. Laws & rules vary by state/jurisdiction so do your homework and get
an education in CPS laws, rules & practices so that you can FIGHT for your children's rights. I am not a lawyer. Your mileage may vary.

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