All three of our beautiful, precious children were taken from us on trumped up charges, and are now being adopted out to two gay men OUTSIDE of Riverside County. We still have an open case, and are SUPPOSED to have rights, but the case has been illegally transferred to San Diego County where we cannot visit them, and this October 29th, without ANY hearing on our appeal (and a complete dismissal of ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY that we have produced and proven), the court is set to adopt our three babies, aged two, five and six to two gay men who have applied for an instant family via adoption.
Neither my ex nor I have ever used drugs, drank alcohol, smoked ANYTHING, been arrested within the last 25 years or had any charges levied against us except for these trumped up abuse charges. WE DO NOT SPANK OUR BABIES! We LOVE our babies with all our hearts and do EVERYTHING humanly possible to ensure their safety and security. Yet our babies were stolen from us because we were EXTREMELY poor, and our beautiful, blonde, blue-eyed children were perfect specimens for their adoption mill!
We were poor for one, provable reason: illness. I, as the father, was terribly ill for years, with no apparent outward reason. Despite probably HUNDREDS of doctor visits, no doctor ever discovered what was wrong with me until it was too late for our babies. Just this year, after my father passed away, my new doctor (an eighty-three-years-old doctor, thank God) didn't trust a lot of the "newfangled" tests and machinery. Consequently, he did something that no other doctor had done in at least seven years (because that's for how long I was ill); a COMPLETE set of blood tests, including "old fashioned" blood tests that have for decades been out of favor with most doctors.
Well, my cranky old doctor ordered them anyway. And guess what? Yes, on my next visit to this magnificent, cranky, old, set-in-his-ways doctor (though, surprisingly, he is more up-to-date with new medicines and new diagnoses that most younger doctors with whom I have interacted), he told me EXACTLY what was wrong, and why I was so sick ALL OF THE TIME! I almost died so many times from pneumonia and other extremely dangerous illnesses that I was unable to work for many years. Consequently, my ex, when we were still together, bless her heart, was burdened with the task of caring not only for our three precious babies, but me as well. When, for two days, we were forced to stay in a house (the reasons for which are another long letter. We did not want to stay in the house, even though it was cleaned spotlessly by us, but we had no where else to go) for which I had a legitimate lease, the only main problem being that we could not get the water turned on due to an intractable landlord who never repaired ANYTHING, nor allowed us to turn on the water (which only the owner is able to do, thanks to some seriously insane local ordinances) for the entire three-and-a-half-years for which I maintained the lease (even when we were not living there due to the conditions, as I tried to locate our nomadic landlord to sue him. That is why I kept the lease). When the police were called by a nosy neighbor, due to there being no RUNNING water (even though we had an ENORMOUS supply OF FRESH, POTABLE WATER in the house), they stole our babies from us, this time for good.
A "psychologist," and I use the term loosely, wrote a report that stated such things as that my ex and I were incorrigible, unfit EVER to be parents, and were not EVER going to change (IMAGINE! A THERAPIST, whose entire reason for being is to help people to change, states that we NEVER be able to change! It boggles the mind!). After this unimaginably bleak report (many pages, and NOT A SINGLE STATEMENT OR EXAMPLE in the entire report was positive. REALLY?! She saw us for about three months, and during that time she never witnessed us say or do ANYTHING positive the entire time?!) was turned in at the behest of our CPS worker, right before we were due to have our babies returned to us. Instead, the judge reset the case for one month later, and in that short period of time, AFTER CPS ALREADY STATED THAT WE WERE GOOD PARENTS WHO DESERVED TO GET OUR BABIES BACK, the judge changed everything to have all of our services terminated, our baby visits cut down to ONE HOUR A MONTH(!), and stated that the court would proceed with adoption as the goal.
So, to summarize, our babies were NEVER harmed in any way, except by CPS AND SOME FOSTER PARENTS, but NEVER BY US. Our babies were healthy and happy up until they were torn from our arms. And the ONLY thing that was wrong with us as parents was that we were extremely poor, and I was terribly ill. However, even after my new doctor FINALLY determined what was wrong with me, that I had no immune system due to a lack of vitamin D (a normal level is around seventy units, whereas my level was about eighteen. ALL national organizations had my level listed in the lowest category: Severely Deficient, which is terribly dangerous and fosters many diseases, and all agreed that with heavy doses of supplements, it would take up to ONE YEAR or more to restore my Vitamin D levels back to normal, but, hey, I'm alive, I'm getting healthier every day, and I now am capable of caring for the babies all by myself. I have not felt this good in many years, even though I still get sick every so often).
So, a quick summary: we are not criminals, we are not drug or alcohol abusers or even users (based on COURT ORDERED DRUG TESTING!!! ALL of our tests came back NEGATIVE, even when they ordered me to have a hair test to look back in time to see what drugs I might have used BEFORE CPS stole our babies. Again, I tested NEGATIVE FOR EVERYTHING!), we are not child abusers, we do not smoke, we cared for our babies better than most parents could, due to our devotion to our sweet babies' well beings, and we love our babies as much as is humanly possibly. So under what statute would we EVER be deemed to be unfit as parents-EVER!-except for a make-believe one in Riverside County, California? And it isn't "on the books." It is merely the way that the CPS hierarchy, the prosecutors and the judge WANT it to be, apparently to help to feed the adoption mill.
I cannot explain in words how horrible it was this last time to hear my beloved babies come to our one-hour-a-month visit, only to have them tell us that they now have two "daddies," a moniker that once was reserved only for me! When my babies leave, it is not unusual for me to collapse in agony and to cry for hours until I am finally able to move. During our last, full, two-hour, two-times-a-week visit, I was so sickened and crushed that I accidentally started to cry BEFORE I got the babies back into the CPS car. My five-year-old son saw this and asked me, "Daddy, are you sad?" That was all that I could take, and when I answered, "Yes." and then tried to explain, I was unable to do so because I could not breath. At this point, my poor, sweet, EXQUISITELY sensitive baby boy started crying hysterically, too. Before our first, one-hour-per-month visit, I was informed that if I showed any emotion other than happiness, CPS would immediately cancel the visit, and might cancel all further visits. Additionally, we were told multiple times that we could never state to our babies that we were still fighting to get them back, and that we want them home with us. But that doesn't work both ways. Our CPS worker questioned us while we were holding our babies about family diseases, so that, as she stated openly in front of the babies, "the new parents will know what to look for when they get their new babies..." And on MANY occasions, CPS workers talked freely in front of the babies about their impending adoptions, BEFORE THE COURT EVER APPROVED ANY ADOPTION, AND WAY BEFORE OUR PARENTAL RIGHTS WERE TO BE TERMINATED, which they still have not been!
My sweet son has always been extremely sensitive, and often injures himself every time after he is taken from me again, BUT ONLY THEN. None of my children exhibit any of the many reported terribly negative attributes that they show when they get back to the foster parents' houses. When our sweet babies are with us, they are little angels. They get into a bit of mischief once in a while (mostly by getting into EVERYTHING due to natural curiosity), but they do nothing that would elicit punishment of any kind, except for an occasional "time out" when they are arguing with each other, as most children do, due to natural sibling rivalry, or if they get too near something dangerous that we told them they must avoid. Other than that, our precious babies are our little angels, helping mommy and daddy, playing quietly, oftentimes with me as a playmate, or, occasionally, watching a video specifically made for young children.
We limit their video viewing, and they have never seen a television show while they were with us, but we do encourage them to use computers, and I, as a computer expert, help them to do so with the proper controls in place. I even bought each of them the most expensive LeapFrog Leapster units so that they are able to progress at their own pace in a computer-like environment. The adoptive "parents" presumably now have those units, as well as everything else that we bought them. Yes, even while being extremely poor, I manage to buy necessary items for our babies by saving every penny, and by not spending any of the money on me or my ex. I have ALL the same clothes, shoes, socks, underwear, etc., as I did before the first CPS case, over three years ago. I spend my money on my babies, and while we were together, some on my wife, as women's sandals and such were never designed to last as long as men's shoes (plus, she was an angel about not caring if I bought things for her from a thrift store, bless her heart). That surely makes us horrible parents, and me an even worse father, right? And one thing that all CPS workers, prosecutors, et al, ignore is the fact that the police report and CPS report both stated that the babies were dressed in new looking clothes, and when they were undressed for examination, the examiner noted that all three babies' skins and bodies were "PRISTINE..." their word, not mine. Not bad for kids who, according to the prosecutors, never were bathed or cared for properly. What they refused to acknowledge was that we DID have running water, even if it was little more than a trickle. My ex and I were very hard working for our babies, and I devised a system to store the water and heat it, so that our babies had a warm bath every night, and whenever else they might need it. There was enough water to do EVERYTHING that we wanted. Of course, for drinking and cooking, we used store-bought, potable water. However, as was the case throughout our family's ordeal, everyone ignored the fact that we had water, and plenty of it, but only focused on the fact that we did not have an abundance of city-supplied water!
Well, I am sorry. My short story turned into a novel. But I am so frightened and so frustrated and so alone in this that I inadvertently rambled. I guess that I just felt the need finally to share my anguish with others parents who are going through/have gone through, the same agony to see if anyone has any answers for me. I CANNOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF LOSING MY PRECIOUS, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, SWEET LITTLE ANGELS! *SOB* Please, please, PLEASE!, if anyone knows of ANYONE who might be able to help us IN ANY WAY, please, please, PLEASE!, let me know!!! I am desperate, and depression has now crippled both my ex and me. I always considered myself a man's man, lifting weights, studying many martial arts, etc., but now I often just sit on my bed and cry. I am not ashamed to say this, although it took a few years until I could admit it freely. Now, I am not proud of it, but neither am I afraid to admit it. My ex, on the other hand, cannot stand the pain any more, and has started distancing herself from even talking about our babies anymore. I think that, for her own mental protection, she is behaving as if the children are already gone forever so that she doesn't completely fall apart. I do not think that we will ever reconcile, but I still feel terrible for her, and for what she is going through...what we are BOTH going through.
I will close for now. But my entreaty still stands. If ANYONE has any ideas for me to try, or people for me to contact, or lawsuits for me to join, then please let me know as soon as is possible. I am ashamed to admit this next part, but desperation has set me on a terrible path. I am so incredibly desperate, and despite the fact that I have striven my whole life to see all people as being from the same, large family of "man" (and this is also what I strive to teach my children, too), I am embarrassed to admit that I have even been looking for a Fundamentalist Church that would hire a lawyer to appeal our case based on the fact that the adoptive parents are gay. I am so ashamed...
I am not a bigot (honestly!), but I am so incredibly desperate as the seconds tick down until the final court hearing, that I am willing to try almost anything within the law to have my babies returned to the loving house were they should be: my house. Every day that passes where I do not hear their giggles and their occasional cries for daddy is one more day off of my life. I truly believe that the fear of losing my sweet babies FOREVER is shortening my life. And after all, if I do lose them, what is there left for which to live? Life would have no meaning.
Every day that passes by takes our sweet, precious, beautiful babies further away from us. As it is, our beloved two-year-old hardly recognizes us anymore. I believe that she just thinks that we are nice people who buy her treats and toys, and not that we are her mommy and daddy. And, as a parent, let me ask you; does that not break your heart? Because, if that doesn't break your heart, then I believe that you probably do not have one. *SOB*
Humbly, beseechingly and sincerely,
All Three Babies "Adopted" BEFORE our case is heard!
A place for parents who have been through a termination of parental rights. Please network here on ways to reconnect with your children, cope with the trauma of separation, and promote advocacy against this cruel system of family destruction.
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4 posts • Page 1 of 1
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Re: All Three Babies "Adopted" BEFORE our case is heard!
Yes, thank-you for identifying the fruad that comes along with CPS. What did they charge you and your ex with? It is good at least you know where the kids are.
I'm not a lawyer but will try and help you any way i can. My postings may seem harsh but they all stem from personal experience with DCFS. I am not a victim and take responsibility for my part in my life, but I will always help ANYONE learn about the corrupt sick system.
Re: All Three Babies "Adopted" BEFORE our case is heard!
monkette31 wrote:Yes, thank-you for identifying the fruad that comes along with CPS. What did they charge you and your ex with?
They charged us with child abuse! And our sweet babies were treated like the most important things that we would ever have. There was no kind of abuse whatsoever! We simply didn't have running water because of the landlord--he wouldn't turn it on. How does lack of running water equal child abuse?! And we were only in the SPOTLESS house for two days. We were going back to my dad's house that night, as my sister who had the key (she took off after her daughter who was in another city), and left without telling us, was returning that night. A couple more hours and we would have been gone. I cry just thinking about it. Now our kids are "adopted" out without a court hearing. Of course, when we get to court they will then inform us that our babies have been adopted. But everyone whom we have spoken with says that this is illegal! That can't give the kids away, and promise this gay couple that they will get our babies, BEFORE we have had a final court hearing!
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- Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 10:37 am
Re: All Three Babies "Adopted" BEFORE our case is heard!
The crime CPS did by adopting your children out is called human trafficking. Selling babies for money to line their pockets. It's modern day slavery and slave trading. It's a major felony.
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