CPS nightmare ((Please Help))

[LovingWifeAndMother]

I've had CPS involved in my life for over 3yrs. I was coerced into OA with my oldest daughter, because they made me leave my residence and I didn't have anywhere else to go. They gave me 3mo to find a place, then said they were gonna terminate my rights if I didn't sign her over. I did so I knew I could keep contact with her. (Oct. 2010). I had my son in July of last year, who was born early by emergency csection with a heart condition (Wolff-Parkinson-White). They took him as soon as he was released from the NICU, their reason being was that I had a previous case (even though i have a home, steady employment and was fully prepared for him). Since December, the worker has cut off ALL communication with me (wont return phone calls, emails, even her supervisor won't return my calls) and wont even get visitation set up!! I've done ALL of my other services. They won't give me a PD because they say I "make too much" even though I barely make enough to get by, so I'm without legal counsel. I recently found out that my Birth control failed, and I'm pregnant again. From what I've heard, they're never going to return my son to me because he's special needs. I've gotten advice to flee to another state without CPS knowing to have this baby, and that way they can't take this one. Is that true?
BTW I live in washington state.

[family_man]

That is correct. Leaving state may be the only way that you will be able to keep your third child. Go soon enough that you can establish residence there and get a drivers license. If you show up at the hospital with an out-of-state license, they might get suspicious and report the birth to the new state's CPS. (It's happened on this board!)

[LovingWifeAndMother]

Ok.. We were talking about going to Louisiana for a few months to have the baby (my boyfriend and father of this child's family is down there, so we'd have somewhere to stay) I'm 24 weeks preg, and Washington state CPS doesn't know about it. I'm thinking New Orleans is pretty far away, and if I establish residency (New drivers license & address) they won't be suspicious... From my knowledge, CPS /DCFS is a state-by-state agency, and if the hospital down there has no knowledge of my prior residence in WA, then I should be ok... I sure hope so, because I can't keep going though this. I seriously considered terminating the pregnancy so I wouldn't have to go through this heartbreak again, but started looking into other options.
I just wanna make sure I don't completely uproot myself just to go through the same BS again. (Louisiana is very far away from washington lol, and I know absolutely NOBODY down there with the exception of hubby's family) They love me and are very supportive. I just hope that this very expensive move will be well worth it.

[family_man]

Yes, CPS is a state-by-state agency so Louisiana would have no knowlege of your TPRs in Washington. However, there are 3 possible gotchas that I can think of:

1) If Louisiana CPS ever investigates your family, and somehow finds out that you used to live in WA, they might contact Washington CPS to see whether you have any history there.

2) If you receive Federal Medicaid assistance in LA, the Social Security Administration might have some information about your cases in WA. I don't know off-hand why this might get you into trouble, but it's something to be aware of.

3) Of course, if you make the same mistakes that got you into trouble in WA, then history is likely to repeat itself in LA. However, if you've learned from your mistakes (which may have been compounded by a ruthless and unscrupulous CPS), and diligently avoid repeating them, then you should be OK in LA.

Good luck to you, and I hope things work out for you in your new location!

[noroses4u2c]

If you file for any type of welfare then your social security number triggers in the system. I knew a woman who moved to KY from OH to have her baby. She had six children taken from her and her rights terminated because of domestic violence committed by the husband even though she left him and was divorcing him and doing everything else they demanded of her. The day after she filed for welfare in KY, CPS showed up at her door and took her baby. She didn't learn her lesson about that either, because she got pregnant again with her new bf and moved to yet another state so that KY wouldn't get that baby too. I told her so many times that she needs to not sign up for welfare again. She signed up for medicaid, WIC, and foodstamps while she was still pregnant and they showed up at the hospital when that baby was born. I get so angry when I think about it.

Do not ever apply for welfare benefits.

Since you had a c-section, if/when they ask about previous births at the hospital, you need to not disclose about what really happened to your son. It was an emergency c-section and your baby didn't make it. There was something wrong with his heart. Don't go into details. It's not about denying your children. It is about saving one of your children when you aren't able to save the others.

You must never admit to any depression or any other mental illness, or they might call in social services there at the hospital to investigate you.

Keep us posted.

[Eljay]

I wouldn't advise you tell them that your prior child died... that will likely cause them to be on heightened awareness for PPD and/or send in a social worker to make sure you're coping well. Medically speaking, they should ONLY be concerned with prior BIRTHS, not the current location of your children.

[noroses4u2c]

I wouldn't advise you tell them that your prior child died... that will likely cause them to be on heightened awareness for PPD and/or send in a social worker to make sure you're coping well. Medically speaking, they should ONLY be concerned with prior BIRTHS, not the current location of your children.

Yes, this is a very good point. Scratch what I said about that part before. Just make sure you don't let them know what happened to him. Just answer very briefly.

[LovingWifeAndMother]

The welfare bit might pose a problem, as i am uninsured except for washington medicaid... Does anyone know of an insurance agency that i could go thru for pregnancy coverage? I know a hospital cant refuse service but i wont be able to get medical care without it, which might be a trigger...
And, in the off chance we couldnt make it to LA, would we be safe in Idaho, being that its right next door lol

[WriterMom]

What about giving custody of the baby to a trusted relative right from the hospital? You need medical care for your baby, or that can cause probs as well. Especially if something happens.

[Eljay]

If you have had completely uneventful births in the past, consider birthing with a midwife in a birthing center.

[family_man]

And for longer term health insurance for your baby, maybe you'll be to get an affordable package through one of the exchanges available under the Affordable Health Care Act (Obamacare).

[family_man]

Also if you're looking for a convenient locale to give birth, consider across the border in Vancouver. Your baby would have dual citizenship, and I'm pretty sure they won't try to confiscate him/her.

[Sarah79]

Most absolutely definately have a homebirth.....lots and lots of women do it. I am one.

[LovingWifeAndMother]

Ok, ive been looking into a homebirth option with a midwife. Im horrible with pain, but would rather go through the pain than have them take my baby. If i have a homebirth, cps will not be informed of the birth, correct? They used the "hospital hold" excuse last time (which means they bullied the hospital into placing the "hold", then said they are "required" to take the baby because of it. So ill be completely safe? Im debating on whether i should just go to a hospital across state lines, or plan for a homebirth.. Which would be safer?

[monkette31]

You know, I have no idea!...but it's probably best to hook up with home birthers. There's a large group on facebook that do all that!

[Eljay]

Every mother and every pregnancy is different. Unassisted home births are hugely risky. You should use a midwife and/or birthing center if you don't want a hospital birth. Personally, I believe hospital births are WAY overdone, mother are over medicated and/therefore cesarean rates are through the roof. I *did* have my kids in the hospital because one was two weeks overdue and I was GBS positive for the other, but even in-hospital, I had no drugs and delivered one kid on my feet! Read the Bradley Method/book and Immaculate Deception for inspiration.

[LovingWifeAndMother]

Well, we have decided to move to lousiana after all. We are leaving in 2 weeks. My fear is, I'm about 32wks right now. I got medicaid while in Washington, but I'm definitely not transferring it to there. However, when i have the baby, I'm not gonna have insurance. And I'm thinking i should just tell the hospital that we moved a lot for hubbys job before we got there and that i saw different doctors all around. I really hope cps doesn't follow me down there. In Washington state they pull a child just for having aprior case....and I'm not letting this baby go thru the system.

[family_man]

I think you're making the best possible decision under the circumstances. Just go forward and don't look back. Let us know how it turns out!

[LovingWifeAndMother]

Will do! I'm still super paranoid but I don't think CPS will follow me from Washington to Louisiana. The only catch I can think of, is if the new hospital can access my records from the hospital here. They have it on file that I'm "bipolar and refusing meds" and info about my CPS case, because thats what the worker told the nurses when I had my son. The hospital won't strike those records, even though I have a psych eval saying I have PTSD, but thats it. (And this is coming from a psychiatrist that CPS made me go to!! So its complete bullshit that they're still trying to say I'm bipolar).
But, if I'm right, the HIPPA act makes it so they can't just automatically access my files. And I can have a complete fresh start, without CPS lies and hear say making me look like a freaking nutjob.

[family_man]

Why does the hospital in LA need to know about the hospital in WA? Yes it's true that the hospital can't access the records, but CPS or law enforcement can, if they do so in conjunction with an open case.

[LovingWifeAndMother]

Id assume because of my prior csection with my son... Not sure, however.