Upcoming CPS "Interview"

[nodramamama2k]

I'm going to give a little bit of my backstory, but try not to get long winded. Thanks in advance to anyone who reads. I am from Wisconsin.

My fiance and I have a toddler son. My fiance also has a teenage daughter from a previous relationship (one night stand). He did not find out the child was his until she was over a year in age, but got some visitation there after. He transferred his parental rights when she was approx. 3-4, so she could be adopted by her mother's husband. When his daughter was about 9-10, her mother decided her bio dad should be in the picture again, so she would occasionally let him keep her for weekends and weeks in the summer. I entered the picture about 6 years ago. We have been taking this teen about once a month since, except for some gaps. The last time we had her, she accused my fiance of molesting her, official complaint is that he "touched her boobs". He is now facing criminal charges. Let me say that I believe 100% he did not do this to her. Without getting into it too much, she is a very mentally and emotionally disturbed girl (she has been seeing a therapist since very young) and has made similar accusations about other men. She is also incredibly jealous of our young son.

A month after hearing of the criminal accusations, I was contacted by a CPS worker who came to my home. She gave me absolutely no details and did not even know my fiancé or son's names. I told her I would be happy to speak to her with my attorney present. I did not let her in my house, I met her in my driveway. She told me something like, this one contact may be enough for her supervisors, but sure enough, she called me a few days later to set up a meeting. I have a meeting with her and my attorney at the CPS office coming up. I have some questions for her, for sure!

What I would like advice and help with is, what can I expect at this "interview"? What questions should I be asking her? Does she have to give me details of the report? Is this routine procedure because of my fiance's accusations or could it be a separate accusation (lie) the teenager may have made? Can they really take my child away from ME because of my fiancé? Any time CPS calls, its bad, but how BAD is this? Am I going to be fighting tooth and nail to save my son?

I have a lawyer that HATES CPS. He has dealt with them before and knows the CPS worker who contacted me. He also informed me not to say ANYTHING in front of this woman because she has been known to twist words and lie.

I am doing as much research as I can. Any input, advice, experience from someone who has gone through this would be immensely appreciated!!

Thank you!!

[angelheart83]

I'm not experienced with CPS cases involving court/criminal actions, but I think charges of sexual abuse are among the most serious ones and workers tend to act more preemptively in those situations due to the increased potential for danger. I think you can expect to be in for a long, tough fight. However, you are at an advantage because you have an attorney who will actually FIGHT them and make them follow the law. Most accused parents don't have helpful representation. Your attorney will be able to give you the best advice, but take comfort in knowing you have a good attorney on your side.

There's a chance they may make your fiance leave during the investigation. Be prepared for that, just in case. However, it might not happen.

In the meantime, I would start by compiling all the evidence you can of the teen's mental problems and history of accusations against others.

I wish I could be of more help, but I can't. I don't have nearly enough experience with this area to offer real advice.

[monkette31]

When CPS gets a complaint, they have to investigate. The thing that people don't know is that it is federal law that the agent must give you the specific allegations of abuse. You did very well so far in not letting her into your home or answering any questions without your attorney.

I would have to say the allegations would be classified as "sexual abuse". Those, at this time, are the only allegations you should be addressing. Too many times SS workers get access to a home or children, without a warrant, because parents let them in....and that is when they look at a stain on your carpet and write up a report that says your home is a disgusting filthy mess (include photocopied black and white pics blob). Then they will ask you to pee in front of her and if you don't, you will be labeled a drug abuser. After that, only a clean test can get them away but then with taking the test, you've already submitted to them, so in their eyes, you are guilty!...and next they'll want a psych eval, by their docs of course....you get the picture.

There are social workers, most I know, that will just flat out lie, omit and commit fraud in their report.

Anyways, above is how it could have gone, had you not been aware of protecting your rights.

It appears you are now in the investigation phase. Each state/county has their own laws on how long the investigation can stay open. Some places 30 days, others 60. They will want you to sign consent forms to view your children's medical files. They only want to see the files to see if they can charge you with any form of medical or dental neglect, this is the ONLY reason! They might ask for phone numbers of family and friends, who they will then call and try and dig up dirt on you, through lies or whatever else.

I think they would try to file "failure to protect" on you and "sexual abuse" by the father. If that occurs, they usually try and make the father move out of the home but since the child does not live there, they can't do that either. They can, as you are concerned, try and imply or build a case on something to do with your son. Basically, they want your family in services, parenting classes, drug classes, whatever classes. CPS is paid a lot of money to put families under services.

If your attorney doesn't already know, I believe at the meeting that you would want to WRITE DOWN the EXACT allegations, so you can talk about only those allegations and nothing else further. Hopefully your attorney will not allow you to submit to any of their services. If he tells you to just go along with them, he is no good. How CPS works is that they have one allegation and they enter your life and all of a sudden you have 4-5 more allegations!

The other thought I had is that if the girl is in the mother's custody, they would I think try and charge the mother with "failure to protect" and the father with "sexual abuse" if they want to take the child. They would have to have a specific allegation towards your fiance regarding your son to start to investigate anything. If the girl is making accusations of physical abuse towards the baby or anything else, it might be best to not have her over as much, as this I would see as endangering your son's health (in having him removed). Yes, children are taken for far less than this, a small accusation turning into a major fire storm because trusting parents let cps in the home. They are not to be trusted at all, EVER!

I invited an advocate from Wisconsin here. Hopefully she can talk or pm you.

[nodramamama2k]

When I read both your replies, I got teary eyed. Not because I am upset, but because you both took time to help me, a complete stranger. So thank you!

I had read that they are supposed to tell a person the allegations, now I know she has to and I won't let her dodge around it. I also plan on bringing a tape recorder to this meeting. In Wisconsin, I don't have to inform her she's being recorded! I intend to make her tell me the exact state statutes as well. She should be able to recite them if I am being investigated for them.

I briefly spoke to my lawyer to let him know what's going on and to set up the meeting with CPS, but we will meet and discuss things before we go. This is very recent, the cps worker just showed up at my house last Friday.

Kind of a funny side note, the cps worker locked herself out of her car while at my house. I wanted to laugh, yet at the same time just wanted to get this bi*** out of my driveway!

I don't plan on giving this cps worker a single thing without a court order. If it appears I am "uncooperative", then so be it. Better they have nothing, I think. I understand many people think lawyering up is an admission of guilt and if a person is innocent, they have nothing to hide. I have enough presence of mind to realize many innocent people go to jail and get their kids taken away.

I kind of guessed I will be charged with allowing a crime to happen or some such bullshit. That will be the next blow, they just keep coming.

The teenager is not coming to our house any more. I didn't state this detail earlier, but I didn't allow her to come to our house from March 2012 thru February 2013. So the accusation she made, allegedly happened the first time we saw her in nearly a year. I didn't want her here for many reasons, lying, cursing, terrible hygiene, but mainly I didn't want her around my son. My son's grandmother told me she caught the teen squeezing my sons arms and shaking him while she screamed at him to go away. I gave in and let her come over because my fiance begged me. Actually, it was more like, he just showed up after work with her on my doorstep. I should have made him take her home immediately. He has always felt guilty over giving up his rights and over compensates by buying her things and letting her run amok.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Just knowing there are people on our side makes it just a bit easier to bear! I hope the advocate has time!

[FreedomNow]

See if your fiance can quickly get ALL his daughters medical and/or mental-health records, by emailing the providers quietly and privately, and filling out their forms that they would probably be faxing you (and maybe asking for and filling out another form that says: Only release info to parents... if possible)... your attorney will have insight into this, ask him/her about it... who knows, the records might contain big things that will help you.

heheh, your use of quotes lets me know that you already understand it will *not* be, of course, a mere interview... it WILL resemble an interrogation.

***oh and they will threaten you with all sorts of "criminal" charges... many parents don't know better and think CPS is an extension of the police or something... they will threaten you that they can get the Sheriff on you, "child endangerment" etc, "if you don't sign this piece of paper right now!" ...these are *standard bluffs*, stay cool***

Good for you for getting a good attorney! You've got the *exact* right attitude and approach! Stay vigilant!

[FreedomNow]

oh yikes, yes almost forgot, glad you mentioned audio Recording, yes for sure keep with doing that, but also YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY A BUDDING VIDEOGRAPHER AND FILMMAKER. "Lifecast" your existence!

as long as you've doublechecked your state's laws on this, and have asked your attorney, and are in compliance, doesn't matter whether you just have a smartphone videocam (make sure to purchase extra memory), or a large hulking video cam, VIDEO everything... On the quiet, when able (for example, attorney might tell you that overtly filming people might not be good for strategy, might get them really gunning for you).

And have that camera on you with batteries charged, memory available, and ready to go at *ALL* times.

You just cleaned the house? Video it!

You got surprised again with his daughter at a public function or something, perfect, video it! You are nothing if not for preserving your all-american family memories!

You're about to go on a nice date night and you're looking particularly beautiful and respectable? Video it!

You see a hostile social worker coming to your house? Video it! All the way up to putting the keys in the ignition and driving off! (If she can manage such a feat, lol)

You get the picture!

[FreedomNow]

oh and create time to read everrrrrrrrything here (it starts in 2005):

viewforum.php?f=83&start=0

[nodramamama2k]

Thanks for the tips.

My fiancé transferred his rights to his daughter over 10 years ago, so he has no legal rights to her and can't get any medical records. His defense attorney is working on obtaining her medical records and therapist sessions. It will all be evidence hopefully in our favor, should he go to trial. The prosecution is going to fight tooth and nail to not let us get a hold of those, but they are quite relevant especially since the therapist reported the accusations. They have been looking for a reason this girl is so messed up since before we were in the picture, but they refuse to look at her mother as the problem! I wish I could call CPS on their family.

I have no delusions of going into sw's office and having a nice chat in which she believes me. This lady is a threat to my son and will be treated as such. I am actually quite good at pretending to play nice to get what I want. My lawyer's strategy is to give the appearance of cooperation without actually cooperating. We don't want her to have a personal vendetta against our family.

Expect the worse, hope for the best.

[FreedomNow]

aha, got it!

> My lawyer's strategy is to give the appearance of cooperation without actually cooperating.

*thumbs-up sign*

[tonymoo]

Not much helpful to add. But is it CPS job to investigate allegations against a "stranger"? He is no longer legally the father.

[FreedomNow]

tonymoo: > But is it CPS job to investigate allegations against a "stranger"? He is no longer legally the father.

hey... you're right!

good question!

can anyone weigh in here... as CPS is charged with investigating and dealing with allegations of PARENTAL abuse or neglect, CPS should have *no jurisdiction* here, right?! At least it sounds to me that if they persist their jurisdiction should be *challenged* strongly!

nodramamama2k, ^ a question for your attorney!!!

[nodramamama2k]

Yes! That is the big question in my case. I will call my lawyer, stat.

I think the teenager is confusing everyone because she tells everyone he is her dad, technically yes, legally no. She never called him dad in person, so I don't know why she is in all the paperwork. Probably to manipulate some sympathy. All about the attention, that one.

[monkette31]

CPS will investigate any allegations of child abuse. Doesn't have to be a family member whatsoever! If the neighbor allegedly abuses a child, they have a legal obligation to investigate.

[Eljay]

If you haven't had the interview yet, I will just add...

Yes, they are federally required to give you the allegations. Here's the DHHS affirmation of that:

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/cwpm/programs/cb ... ?citID=353


Second, take a neutral position... don't say "he would NEVER do that" or "that's not possible" .... if you defend him, they will label you as being in denial. Instead, you can only state what you KNOW for sure:

"I have never seen him touch her."
"He has never indicated an interest in incestuous relations."
"She has never appeared upset during a visit to our home; nothing in her demeanor has ever suggested that something was wrong between her and her father."

Make THEM prove their case... they need to come up with evidence to support it... don't give them evidence to indicate you are trying to hide or cover up something. If you don't know, you don't know!

[nodramamama2k]

Thank you Eljay for the link and the advice. You make some very good points. I think you are right on the money, I believe this "interview" will be focused on the teen and not my son. I don't know why they expect me to give them any details with an ongoing criminal investigation. i sure as hell an not going to say anything incriminating about my fiance. BUT, my main priority is to protect my son's interests. I am going to be "interviewing" the CPS worker as much as she plans to "interview" me. Maybe I can get details out of her about the teen. I am guessing this meeting is not confidential with regards to the investigation.

[Eljay]

In terms of confidentiality, they mainly want to protect the children of real abuse/neglect from exposure/gossip, plus, they don't want parents manipulating real victims into being afraid to tell the truth. Otherwise, I know of no laws dictating what parents can/can not do/say/talk about. Free speech and all, ya know?

[nodramamama2k]

So I talked with my lawyer today. He seems pretty confident this is just a routine check up being pushed by the county the teen lives in. She may do some fishing to see what I think about the allegations and to see if I feel my son and I are safe. My lawyer said if she tries to get any info on the criminal case or hints at causing problems with my son, he is "shutting it down" and she can go ahead and try to get court orders. He let me know, no signing anything, no agreeing to anything and we will not be giving out any pertinent details.

I'm feeling confident that this will be done with after this "interview". She hasn't asked to see my son or our home. Of course that could all change, but hoping and sending up a prayer!

I looked up this social worker, she has won some awards in the state for keeping families together, particularly returning 3 kids back to their drug addict parents after rehab. That doesn't mean I trust her!!!

CPS is notoriously bad in my county, or at least it used to be, for keeping kids safe. When I was in elementary, about 15-20 years ago, I remember a girl in my class who used to get the crap beat out of her by her dad. CPS would take her away for a couple weeks and give her right back. After she was "reunited" she would come back to school even more black and blue. Eventually the teachers stopped reporting it. I remember her family used to live in a concrete structure in her grandmas front yard, no electricity, no running water and grandma wouldn't allow the kids to use her shower. This girl had ring worm, tape worm and lice. I found out when I was older, that her dad had sexually abused her since she was 4-5 years old. Her step-mom was beaten on also, but took it out on the girl too. These are the kids CPS should care about, yet instead they pester people who love and take care of their kids!

[family_man]

Hi,

I've been following your case with great interest. I haven't posted anything, because I couldn't think of anything to add to the excellent advice you've been getting from the others. I think you've got all your bases covered, and I think you'll do fine with your upcoming meeting.

[nodramamama2k]

Thanks! My meeting is this afternoon. I will update everyone tonight or tomorrow morning.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and reply!!

[nodramamama2k]

For anyone who still checks this thread. The agent cancelled the appointment the day of. I have not heard from her since.