A very lost and clueless boyfriend

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CaughtOffGuard
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Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2016 2:03 pm

A very lost and clueless boyfriend

Postby CaughtOffGuard » Thu Sep 01, 2016 2:48 pm

Hi,
I met my girlfriend and the love of my life at the of 2015. We quickly hit it off and she became my best friend in seemingly just minutes. So in no amount of time, opened ourselves up to the personal and sometimes disastrous interworkings of our life. I learned that she has two young, young children who were staying with a relative due to a CPS case that is still ongoing and has been for a year now. As someone who had a rotten childhood, this could have easily been a deal breaker to me. The people who take any role in the abuse of a child see the scum of the earth in my book. But I heard her out and what I seen was a scared young mother, stressed up to her eyeballs who a year ago, made an honest "couldve happened to anyone" type of mistake. And for a year now she has been in a seemingly never ended process that has resulted in nothing more than a "one step forward, two steps back" sort of process. And dang it, my heart melted for her. She even tried to turn me away at one point and apologized for even agreeing to the date but she told me that aside from the family member who currently looks after the children, she is so alone and overecumbered by this case that she has just become desperate for any kind of interaction with SOMETHING normal. I have never left her side since and will never leave her side going forward.

Unfortunately for all of us, we are now two years into this case and yet again after making another step forward and actually being within 45 days of a court hearing where a judge would have been prepared to close the case with the children home with THEIR MOTHER, CPS has swooped in again ripped the kids from the home after having been placed back with her full time for nearly two months per their "reunification plan." And the sickening measures they went to in order to make it possible just completely shocked me. This has resulted in a sleepless 48 hours of fact-finding information where the veil has been lifted and I have discovered CPS as the enemy they truly are.

What I am asking of this community is advice. Although after hearing countless stories from my girlfriend concerning her dealings with CPS and this case the year leading up to, it hasn't been until now that I have fully realized how deceitful they can be. Unfortunately, it's safe to say that everything that has been done up to this point has been done to play perfectly into the hands of the enemy. No records, no recordings, no notebooks, no NOTHING, other than the sad, heart breaking idea, that doing everything asked of her and trying her best would be enough to prove her worth of being the ONLY person qualifies to raise THESE CHILDREN.
So basically, I'm asking for advice. What do I need to know that I don't already, can I hear some stuff like "if I had known THIS all along, I would have been far better off." Also, I have read a million of these '10 things you need to know' but they all appear to be written for those who are ONLY being investigated not those already INVOLVED in a case. For instance, if/when the kids are placed back with her for their sickening "trial run" and cps shows up for their surprise visits, do we still have the right to deny access without a warrant.
Mainly, I'm just pissed. I'm mad at myself. A veteran taught to NEVER underestimate the enemy and I did just that. I was naive. So to me and to the enormous disappointment of my heart broken girlfriend, I am treating this as Day 1 and from here on out I will no longer be playing the fool and if its the last thing I do, I will see these children rightfully and LEGALLY reunited with the one person in this earth who ALREADY AND RIGHT NOW loves them more than anyone EVER could.
Any advice, anything. No matter how small. It could be the smallest piece of information that you are willing to offer that, had I never heard it, could be the key in winning or losing.
Also, court appointed lawyer and nothing we can do about that. Id sign the rest of my life away as a personal servant to any attorney who would take this case. But unfortunately it's money they want and as a paycheck to paycheck person, it infuriates me that it's money that I just don't got. On the upside of this, the court appointed attorney is a young, vibrant, female attorney who has on numerous occasions expressed her disdain for CPS. So, I guess in term of moral victories, maybe that's one.

This crap right here is EXACTLY what's wrong with a "everyone gets a trophy" society and I fell for it.

Please help.

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LindaJM
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Re: A very lost and clueless boyfriend

Postby LindaJM » Mon Sep 05, 2016 1:50 pm

I'm glad your girlfriend has someone on her side now! CPS cases can be very isolating especially for those whose families desert them.

CaughtOffGuard wrote:Hi,
For instance, if/when the kids are placed back with her for their sickening "trial run" and cps shows up for their surprise visits, do we still have the right to deny access without a warrant.


During the reunification process you should let the caseworkers into the house. Part of the deal you're making to get the kids back is that they will be able to make these visits to make sure everything is okay.

The main tool we have to tell the judge our side of the story is the "Declaration of Facts" (see legal document link below) and if there are errors in the caseworker's report to the court you could use the "Objections and Corrections to the Report of the Caseworker" format... also found at the link below.
Sample Document Library

Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.

"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...


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