I am new and looking for advice.

Newcomers, please post something to let us know who you are and if you have an open case, you can post about it here.

Moderators: family_man, LindaJM

Sad Mom
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2010 2:37 am

I am new and looking for advice.

Postby Sad Mom » Sat Sep 18, 2010 4:16 am

Background Information:
My ex-husband and I seperated back in February of this year. He left me on a Friday and took our son with him refusing me the right to see him stating that my son was not safe in my care with no explanation why. At this time our son was 16 months old, he is now 23 months old. He took advantage of the situation since I was not home. Over the weekend I packed up the house and put our belongings in a storage unit. My ex husband hired a lawyer in the beginning to file for divorce and a TRO. The TRO stated that my son could not be moved from his current place of residence not that I could not see him. First thing Monday I obtained a divorce lawyer who specialized in child custody cases. After thirteen miserably long and painful days I was able to get my son back due to lack of evidence and there was not resonable cause for my son not to be in my care. During that time frame he had his parents file criminal trespassing charges against so that I would not be able to go my son even though I had the right to do so. Once I got my son back, my lawyer and I worked together to get custody in the divorce. Shortly after my son returning to me my ex-husband fired his lawyer and proceeded without one. We came up with the agreement that I would have primary custody and my ex-husband would have standard visitiation (1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends from Friday 6pm - Sunday 6pm and every wednesday 6pm-8pm). We settled the temporary orders, final custody agrrement and divorce out of court. We finally divorced in June.

Since our divorce he has had an issue with how much child support he has to pay on top of having to cover our son on his medical insurance (which he agreed to when he signed the papers out of court) and the fact that I do not have to work. He periodically goes on controlling power trips trying to cause havoc on our lives. On Wednesday he called me stating, "I know you will eventually have another relationship with another man or have men in your life, but i do not want another man laying a hand on my son or disciplining him. He should only be disciplined by us and I know you have always had an issue with that. If you ever are having trouble discipling him call me and I will help you handle the situation and talk to him." I am not currently in a relationship nor have I ever been in a relationship since we have seperated. I do not bring other men around my son. The only people who are ever in our home when my son is home are family memebers which happens very rarely since they live so far away. He mentioned that he has noticed that our son has been acting differently and refusing to take a bath or it is a battle to give him one. At the end of August our son came down with the chicken pox and was unable to go to his child care center for a week. During that week my ex-husbands father and mother kept him so I would not miss school. While my son was in their care they gave him aveeno baths. The aveeno baths completely upset him because he thought there were bugs in the bath due to the undissolved aveeno powder. He is going through a stage where he is terrified of bugs, hence the reason why he is have issues with baths right now. After the conversation we had he has not said anything further related to this matter.

Another issue that has come up is that I recently withdrew my self from school and will return next semester. I am currently working towards my early childhood thru sixth grade certification and only have student teaching to complete. Well student teaching is basically a full time unpaid job. With issues in my personal life, loosing my child care benefits, dealing with the emotional stress of my situation and other reasons, completing student teaching at this time was to difficult. Since I lost child care benefits I withdrew my son from his child care center and I do not fee he should go if i am not in school or working. My ex-husband feels that since I am not student teaching, working, and that our son is not in child care I am unable to care for him. In the beginning he felt like since our son was in child care during the day that meant I was unable to care for him. He feels that it is his business how I will support myself and what I am doing druing the day. The child support that he pays is more than enough to care for our son, provide him with what he needs, and to pay my monthly bills. Plus if needed I have family support to help with anything we may need. So therefore our son is finacially taken care of, has a roof over his head, clothes, shoes, and a stable environment to live in which includes his own bedroom. My son is healty, well fed, and concerns have never been raised during doctor visits.

I have issues with my ex-husband just like every ex-wife does . My ex-husband does not have his own residence, he shares a 2 bedroom apartment with a co-worker that is not set up for a child nor does he have anything in his home for our son (a bed, clothes, toddler items, etc.). During his weekend visitations they stay at his parents house. The majority of the time my ex is not even out there with our son. His parents provide a clean environment, food, clothes, and toys for our son, but they do not have a bedroom set up for him (they have 2 available rooms that could be used for a bedroom for our son) or a bed for him to sleep in. When we first seperated he had our son sleeping in a play pin or in bed with him or his parents. Now our son is to big for the play pin so he sleeps in bed with them. Our son will be 2 next month and they still give him a bottle, they have him in diapers and are not attempting to potty train him even though they have a potty chair, they do not keep him on his schedule, etc. There is a lot of disagreement of parenting styles and how he should be raised. I have never seen anything that would raise concern to think that he is being neglected or subjected to abuse while in their care.

Current Issue:
Today I received a phone call and when I answere a women asked am I speaking with --- and I replied yes. She then proceeded to say who she was when the call disconnected. About ten minutes later she called back but I did not answer since I was busy with my son. An hour later i finally got around to checking my voice mail and it was a message from a CPS case worker. She stated she had an open case, not to be concerned it doesn't mean there is anything to it and she wanted to come visit with me and my son. I went ahead and called her back thinking it was not a big deal since I had nothing to hide. Well she did not answer so I left a message. I am 99.9% sure that it was my ex husband that made a complaint against me. At this point I have no idea what the allegations against me are. I spoke with the child care centers supervisor today when I went to pick up my sons remaining belongings. She said that she had received a phone call from CPS asking questions about me and my son and why he is no longer enrolled. She said told the CPS worker that she knows they can not reveal who made the complaint, but that she was positive it was my ex-husband. She also said that she told CPS that she has never had any issues with me or my sons safety, concerns about my ability to care for my son or his well being while he is in my care, that he is always well dressed and clean. She also told me that my ex called her and asked why our son is no longer in child care. I am extremly worried at this point especially since this is his weekend for visitation, he will not return home until Sunday night and I do not know what will be done with my child. I am looking for advice on how to handle the situation and what to do when she calls back. This is the first time I have dealt with CPS. I would appreciate any advice, anything would be helpful! Thanks!

User avatar
Dazeemay
Posts: 4135
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: I am new and looking for advice.

Postby Dazeemay » Sat Sep 18, 2010 9:31 am

You need to get a lawyer asap. When the cps worker calls for an appt. do not make one with her but, tell her, "under your lawyers advice any and all contact is to be made with him present". This usually deters them. Once you have let them into your home you have lost all of your constitutional rights. If you must meet them, then you do it in their office with your lawyer.

We paid a retainers fee for our daughter and grandchildren to be represented by a lawyer it was the best money we spent in protecting them. Our lawyer had a guardian ad litem for the grandchildren also. We paid her a small fee to represent the children. It took one time with our lawyer and daughter meeting them in their office. Never heard from them again. We paid thousands of dollars the first time fighting them because we did not know how to battle them. The second encounter was with a lawyer right off.

You will save yourself a lot of heartache and grief if you meet them head on with a lawyer. Even if you don't get a lawyer this weekend still make the statement and contact one immediately. You need a lawyer who knows how to fight cps cases. Perhaps your divorce lawyer fights cps cases also , many do.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom

To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour

"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1

Sad Mom
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2010 2:37 am

Re: I am new and looking for advice.

Postby Sad Mom » Sat Sep 18, 2010 2:38 pm

Thank you so much for your advise Dazeemay, it is very much appreciated!

My dicorce lawyer told me the day my divorce was final that if I ever needed any help in the future to contact her. I chose her for many reasons, but one of them was because she specialized in child custody/divorce cases. I will shoot her an email ASAP and contact her office first thing Monday Morning. On a positive note I do not have a balance with her, my monthly bills were paid promptly, I had a zero balance before my final divorce hearing, and paid my final bill before it came in. Hopefully since I have built a positive and professional relationship with her and her office staff it will pursuade her to act promptly on this matter. I have already invested over 12,000 in lawyer expenses to get my child back from my ex and to have primary custody. We never went to court for temporary or final, we settled out of court. As a mother I was and am willing to pay whatever the cost to ensure that I have my son. So basically paying another retainer fee to protect my rights as a parent, protect my childs well being, and fight CPS head on is like pocket change. As a mother I will do anything to protect my child by any means.

My son is not even two yet, he is still a baby and can not begin to comprehend whats going on and why. I hate the fact that he would put our child through this and cause more trauma in his life. Our child has been through enough by having his entire world turned upside down. It is driving me crazy not knowing what the allegations are against me. When she calls should I request a copy of the case report and allegations or wait for a lawyer? Not knowing what is going on this weekend while he is in their care is completely driving me up the wall. Every time my ex pulls one of his stunts he always does it when it is his weekend to have our son. Plus he plans it to where I do not find out whats going on until Friday when its to late to take action or get more information. Is it possible that CPS would visit them this weekend? I hate to think that he won't be coming home tomorrow night. If my ex brings him home should I take my son to the ER immediatly or to his doctor first thing Monday morning so that I have documentation of my childs health and physical state? Should I have a lawyer present when I do?

I hope I am not making a mountain out of a mole hill. I'm just lost as to what is going on and why.

Before my son left I took pictures of him in his pull-ups so that I would have documentation of his physical condition when he left my care, I made sure he had on perfectly clean clothes and shoes, and a full belly. The moment I left I began my research. I have started a notebook full of resources. I have read the entire CPS handbook and printed it for easy access, as well as my 4th and 5th ammendment rights, miranda rights, A list of do's and dont's as a reminder, simple phrases to respond to CPS with, I wrote a basic script to follow so that I will not deviate and say to much, I have a tape recorder and video recorder ready, I have started a journal in a notebook and in a word document so I have a back up, I have completely cleaned my house and carpet (it would pass a white glove test), I have washed all of the clothes, taken the trash out, stocked the fridge and pantry, strip searched my home to be 100% sure there is nothing that could make me look bad. Plus my Apt. has been completely baby proofed since the day I moved in, that was the first thing I did. I hope I am not doing to much, I am just trying to keep busy and to be prepared as much as possible.

Thanks again for your advice!

Sad Mom
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2010 2:37 am

Re: I am new and looking for advice.

Postby Sad Mom » Sat Sep 18, 2010 5:57 pm

Does anyone have any suggestions for lawyers who take cps cases in Texas. I want to look at all of my options that are available so that I am well informed when I choose a lawyer. My divorce lawyer will probably help, but it is always nice to know if their is someone better. I have been and I still am researching and reading post but this is consuming all my time and I want to contact a lawyer first thing Monday. Thanks

User avatar
Dazeemay
Posts: 4135
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: I am new and looking for advice.

Postby Dazeemay » Sat Sep 18, 2010 10:16 pm

Go to the Texas forum on this site viewtopic.php?f=56&t=9130

Here is another link http://fightcps.com/2007/08/10/lawyers- ... nse-cases/

Do not ever go to the ER; if can avoid going there, do so. They can be any parents worst nightmare in this day and age.
I would go to your pediatrician if you feel you must. If you feel your son has been abused then I would have a lawyer with me at the drs. office.
If it looks like you have to go to the ER after he is home then definitely have a lawyer there with you. S/he are your only protection against ER calling cps. Be sure to take pictures of your son when he comes home.

As far as getting your case report that would be liking pulling teeth; far better for your lawyer to obtain it.

Your ex will probably be calling them all of the time and I wouldn't put it past him to have someone else call when he begins to see that they are familiar with his call ins. However, you must leave a retainer fee with the lawyer so that you can guarantee they will respond right away in helping you.

I know you are worried about the allegations but, no matter what you do cps can put down that you didn't flush the commode. What your ex has said may not be what they would write in their report. It's all very insane. Try not to dwell on it. Easier said than done, I know.

You have done a fabulous job of preparing yourself.

Let us know the outcome.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom

To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour

"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1

Marina
Moderator
Posts: 5496
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 3:06 pm

Re: I am new and looking for advice.

Postby Marina » Mon Sep 20, 2010 4:24 pm

.

Notice again - pay a lawyer to represent the child.

.


Return to “Newcomers - Welcome to the site - please sign in here”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 33 guests