I am SO tired. This is the situation, and I appreciate ANY and all input, and the faster the better of course!!
Here's a list of people involved so this won't get too confusing:
C -- My girlfriend/partner (same sex partner) of 2 years, and the mother of the child who has been taken
S - Me, closest description would be "step-mom" or "2nd mom" to this child
K -- The child, a girl, age 2.5
L -- Child's father
D1 - Child's father's eldest adult daughter (taken child's half-sister)
D2- Child's father's adult stepdaughter (taken child's stepsister)
CW (obvious).. caseworker
D- My girlfriend's (C) oldest child, boy, age 12
M- My youngest son, age 7
R- My eldest child, age 13, but he's not in the story
I live with C and together we have a blended family, consisting of her two children (the boy, B, the girl, K) and my two children (D-boy-7 and A-boy-13).
The youngest, C's daughter, has had frequent contact with her father from birth. The birth, simply put, was an intentional/planned conception because both C (a lesbian) and L (child's father) wanted a child and had mutual respect/trust, at leas in the beginning. C had no reason to think he would not be a good father. C was in no position to adopt or have scientific help in having another child... and this was what they mutually decided to do. As such, aside from when she was a very young infant, they have both shared physical custody pretty much equally and amicably.
Custody is court ordered and was issued at the time that child support was issued. It specifies the standard Texas visitation, every other weekend kind of thing, but in reality C has been much more liberal and there have never been any fights or issues over this.
So, it was routine for K (the little one) to be "back and forth" as needed. We all live in the same town and it was common for K to go to the other parent instead of childcare.. so if one parent needed a bit more time, the other one would step in. For example, when school was in session and I had a work overload and C needed to take some temp/contract work, she left K with the dad, but at no time was it ever longer than 2 weeks, and most often much less than that.
K never had any problem transitioning back and forth.. there were no strangers involved, and she was with mom or dad always.
I'm sorry, I know this is already getting long.. but it's best if I get it all posted to avoid having to clarify later.
I have been around this child (K) from the time she was 4 months old, when I met her mother. So, you can probably imagine the bond that is there. My children are bonded to her as well and think of her and refer to her as their baby sister.
Over a year ago, we became involved with CPS due to a "self report". There was an incident between my youngest son (then 5) and C's older child (then 10, but he is developmentally delayed somewhat) towards mine. I won't get into details but can clarify in a PM if you need to know. We immediately separated and C lived with her mother for about four months. We also immediately (as in that week) sought counseling for both children, and were fully aware that doing so would alert CPS and that there would be an investigation. We did it anyway, doing what we felt we MUST for our children.
We did everything by the book, C did not move back into the home with her child until CPS authorized it, we did the constant home visits, the in-home counseling, the individual counseling, you name it. Oh, and let's not forget the CONSTANT supervision. Those two children will never be alone together, EVER. After about 4 months, CPS approved us living together and their only recommendation at the end of the year long investigation was that we continue counseling (duh) and maintain high levels of supervision. (double duh!) Okie doke.
During the final phase of THAT investigation, an ex-friend that we were having a minor "feud" with over money they owed us decided to do the classy and original thing and file a bogus CPS complaint against us. They did this about a week before they moved out of the apartment upstairs from us. The allegations were SO ridiculous that I laughed out loud when I heard them.. and I knew exactly who had done it. The new caseworker actually agreed with me and dismissed that case within a week, also going on statements by the other caseworker (who had been in our home off and on for a year) and the counselor (same thing).
So, there's one "unfounded' report on record. We had no idea we could have had that expunged. Live and learn. Strike one.
C has had 2 other blatantly FALSE allegations levied against her since I've met her.. and both were dismissed immediately. Strike 2, 3.
She had 1 other BEFORE we met. Strike 4, and the only "real" one makes 5.
NONE of these went beyond a second visit aside from the year long one. So there are 2 on my "record" as well, but only one "justified".
She never knew to have them expunged. Nor did I. Perhaps it would have saved us from what we're dealing with now.
Two of these false allegations came from the same person who has slandered her most recently. Surprise surprise.
Okay, so here's the CURRENT situation:
A little over 2 months ago, K (again, the little one) was with her dad for a visit. Unbeknownst to us, Dad had allowed his adult daughter (D1) and her two kids to move in, as she was fleeing her abusive husband. Her husband is more than a little NUTS and he decided he'd get back at her for leaving him, by calling CPS and telling them that she was a druggie. So, of course they come to investigate, and make her take a pee test, and she fails (she's an occasional pot smoker). While they are at it, they make K's dad take a pee test too.. he passes.
But (and again, we had NO idea this was happening), there is also another adult living there... the stepdaughter (D2) and HER two kids. Oh, and L's wife (the dad of the 2.5 yo) lives there too, of course. So we have 4 adults and 5 kids living in a 2 bedroom house. CPS doesn't like this one bit. They start questioning everyone. D1 and D2 are on the defensive, and in general don't like C in the first place OR the fact that C and their father/stepfather had a baby with her at "his age" (he is around 50) and they decide to tell CPS that K has been there for FIVE MONTHS and that C dropped her off with "no intent to return, no contact".
Absolute utter BS.
CPS discovers that L has been leaving K with his wife, who is older than him and in poor health (D1 and D2 tell them this) and then CPS worker starts asking around and interviewing neighbors who say that D1 is often there, outside, on the phone with all five kids running around the yard but isn't adequately watching the youngest (K).
So on THIS, they take K out of the home. L convinces them to take her to his sister. He SAYS he first asked them to take her to C, her MOTHER, but that CPS refused because she has a "past history" with CPS. I still don't know if that is true or not.
Meanwhile, L calls C up to tell her what happened, but tells her only the part about his daughter failing the drug test, and says that THAT is the only reason K was removed.
He also tells C that CPS says that she cannot visit during the investigation period, which will last 45 days. She argues but he convinces her that if she tries to visit, they will take K out of relative care and put her in foster care. He reassures her that he will take care of all this and that all will be fine if she just does what he's suggesting.
Now, anyone who has dealt with CPS before will understand the fear that causes one to act against their better judgement, I hope. C and I both are terrified, but at this point we're thinking that if we can all survive the 45 days, it's best to not "make waves" and she will be returned.
Meanwhile C tries calling up our old CW to see if she can find anything out. She was a fairly decent woman.. we figure it's worth a shot. They have been playing phone tag for nearly two months. C was never able to get anything other than her voice mail. In addition, she's tried and tried to get the full name of the caseworker. L has been vague.. CPS has been useless in helping her. They gave her the runaround.
The 45 days passed, and of course C immediately called L to find out when K was coming home. He informs her that she's not coming home yet, as he has to do parenting classes before they'll let her. A few days later she calls him again.. same thing. He is not giving her much information.
I should point out that at NO time has CPS contacted C, by phone, mail, or otherwise, and since our other case was closed out THIS YEAR, they have ALL info on file.
At this point, what was "fishy" becomes just unbearably ODD and C demands the CW name. L gives her the first name.
Meanwhile, C & I start thinking "screw this", we've got the court order in hand (spelling out custody and primary conservatorship or whatever it's called) and we decide we're just going to go GET K and bring her home. So, we call up the aunt to find out when she will be home, under the guise of coming to visit. She tells us what L told us.. we can't visit until CPS says it's okay. C calls CPS again and demands that they find every CW with the first name of XXXX until they get the right one. Finally she gets that CW's secretary and leaves a message.
CW calls back that same day (that's a 1st huh?) and the FIRST words out of her mouth were "So why haven't you made contact until now?"
Un-freakin-believable. It is at THIS point that C discovers that the CW has been told that K was left there for "five months" with no contact. CW wants C to come in to discuss things further.
Meanwhile, C calls L and tells him that she doesn't know who told the CW this BS but he'd better call and straighten it up pronto, reminding him that HE doesn't have K and neither does she and if she loses her somehow, they'll both be screwed since he is already having to jump through their hoops. SO, he calls the CW up the next day to make sure she knows that K was NOT there for more than 2 weeks, EVER, and she says okay, but I won't consider any new info until I meet with C in person.
That meeting took place this past Thursday. I spent the entire night before reading the Texas family code and printing out relevant sections about how they were required to notify BOTH parents about reports, about removal, etc. C went in with tons of notes and questions and a recorder (that didn't work!! brand new too!) and came out optimistic.. but I am NOT happy. C told her quite clearly that the ONLY reason she'd refrained from contact was due to FEAR that her child would go from relative care to foster care!
CW had us both do drug tests that same day. Fine, whatever. What's done is done in that regard. Assuming it's an honest test, we will not fail or anything.
CW says that she will return K as soon as she does a home visit next week.
C said okay to this (time has not been set yet though, she told her she needed to check with me and check our schedules).
I am outraged though. We still to not know if there was ever a formal "removal" and the only lame excuse C got for them not contacting her was "We were told you were out of the picture..." !! We still have no FORMAL proof that C's parental rights have in ANY way legally been limited by ANY court. There are NO allegations against C or myself yet the CW is clearly using past (false) allegations to justify a "new" investigation of us, the way I see it.
There was ZERO justification in the first place for keeping K away from her mother when all this took place.... and she hasn't provided any. She provided her reasons for the child being taken from DAD, but the reason for keeping her from mom???? We have yet to hear it.
I don't see what is legally keeping us from picking the child up and being done with it. C was never informed of ANYTHING. No hearing, NADA. She has not been provided with any allegations against her. The only thing the CW said was that since some of the previous allegations had to do with a "dirty house" (the UNFOUNDED ones, remember??) that she needed to do at least one home visit, but assured her that K would be home after that.
So why can't she speak with the other CW who was here for a year nonstop to find out if our house was clean for that year?
If you've read this far, you are a saint and I am so grateful. C wants to just do what they say and seems so optimistic that it will all be fine. I am freaking out and imagining the worst. They have trampled all over her rights, exploiting her poverty and ignorance and fears.
She has not seen or spoken to her TWO YEAR OLD daughter in almost two whole months... and without cause or justification, and the CW is pulling this??
I eagerly await your replies. I'm not sleeping well at all lately and C is supposed to call the CW back on monday to let her know when to come do the home visit.
S
Michael?